I talk about Goat Hill Pizza all the time and I’m always surprised that not more people know about it. Or maybe they’ve heard of it, but have never been. Or maybe it’s just that most people I know are normal, not insatiable, raging fat-asses like me. But gluttony is in my blood. I can’t help it if I start salivating when I hear the words “all-you-can-eat.”
Goat Hill holds a special place in my heart, and not because the last time I ate there, I ended up outside on the curb, puking obscenely mere minutes before I was forced by an evil ex to board the 22 for a 45-minute nightmare ride back to the Richmond instead of just taking a cab (one of the few instances I would have been okay paying more than $2 on transportation). No, I love Goat Hill because their pizza is fucking magical. My instincts tell me that this is because they make the crust with sourdough, and trust me — my instincts are awesome.
Every Monday, Goat Hill hosts “Neighborhood Night,” which means for $10.95, you get all the pizza you can stomach from 4pm-10pm, as well as unlimited trips to the (delicious, btw) salad bar. As soon as you’re seated, servers begin coming by to offer mini slices of fresh-out-of-the-oven pies boasting different toppings, some expected (pepperoni and black olives, anyone?) and some not-so-expected (anchovies, garlic, pineapple and linguica? Pass). Also, for those of you not super into eating the animals, there’s always plenty of veggie pies making the rounds, so you have no excuse for being lame and not going.
You won’t get seated unless your entire group is there, but you can buy beer and drink it outside while you wait — pitchers of Anchor and Sierra Nevada aren’t too shabby at $9.50 each. You classier folk can get wasted off a liter of wine for only $11.25 (or drink even cheaper wine out of a travel coffee thermos — my favorite trick — on the bus ride over). Be warned, however, that the ingestion of alcohol will leave less space in your body for food. It may also cause you to do something you’ll regret, like getting vajazzled. Yes, I managed to fit vajazzling into a post about pizza.
To maximize the enjoyment of your Monday night experience at Goat Hill, I suggest going with several friends and challenging them to a down-and-dirty, no-holds-barred, all-you-can-conceivably-stuff-in-your-face pizza-eating contest. Just don’t tell anyone that the “prize” for the champ is spending the rest of the night crouched over the toilet clutching his or her distended belly. Oh, and it’s absolutely non-negotiable that you come wearing elastic-waist pants. High school gym shorts are preferable in case you get sweaty. Eating is a sport, after all.
How many places can you go, spend $10.95 on pizza and salad and be so filled with food and happiness that you’ll probably throw up later? Now that’s a deal.
All-You-Can-Eat Pizza/Salad, Every Monday 4pm-10pm
Goat Hill Pizza
300 Connecticut (at 18th St.)
Photo via Gena M. on Yelp