Chloe Newsom - Dive Bar Desperado

17 Jul 2017

Azealia Banks Sucks. But So Do We.

Ok I know, I know I know. I went into the Azealia Banks piece by PAPER MAG rolling my eyes, but I came out of it ALSO rolling my eyes… while also becoming a bit more enlightened. Bear with me. [BREATHE IN.] She’s so right in that men in the

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21 Jan 2015

You Can Never Go Home Again: San Francisco in 2015

The Infamous Arrow Bar (Image taken from Yelp) I lived in San Francisco back when I used to puke a lot. And pee in alleys. Be it, cuz I was drunk, or high – my glory days – I would find myself in front of the Arrow Bar with some other lost

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06 Jun 2014

Dear SF & LA: Shut Up And Hug It Out

Shhh. Stop whining. Let’s all eat burritos on a beach, together. “Blah blah blah, TRAFFIC, blah blah blah SUPERFICIALITY! REALITY SHOW REJECTS!” is what I constantly hear from San Francisco citizens about my current residency in LA. “Yackity shmackity, ZILLIONAIRE TECH ASSHOLES! PRICE OF RENT!” is what I hear about

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12 Feb 2014

Broke Ass Last Minute Ideas for Valentine’s Day

We’ve all been there, dude. You’re happily single, watching True Detective from a stolen source of cable, pretending the chicken in your fridge is still ok to eat, Peter Panning your way through life on a meager salary, when, BAMM! The perfect person comes along, and you’re screwed (literally and

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10 Feb 2014

Dear Everyone: Shut Up About How Much LA Sucks*

*I’m talking to myself, too. Aloha, ladies and gentlemen. It’s been a while, I know, omg whatever, but I’m still in LA and it’s almost been a whole year – a thought that has this kind of affect on me where I’m like “Trippy, man” but also “Not-so-trippy, man” because everything

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03 Sep 2013

Why Starting a Cult is a Great Way to Stop Being Broke

If this doesn’t convince you, then IDK. I’m fucking broke, man. I’m broke. And Groupon/Lifebooker/whatever discount website is trendy right now, is not REALLY an app or a website, it is an addiction. In the perpetual quest for Patrick Bateman-style physical perfection that is this Hollywood life, I find myself

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19 Apr 2013

This Week Sucks, and I’m So Sorry

Hey. Are you ok? Shitty week, right. To say the least. Are you feeling anxious? Did you have a friend at the Boston Marathon? Perhaps, a friend of a friend is faculty or a student at MIT? Did you know someone who knows someone who was a victim of the

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