Sex and Dating

Anna G.’s Cheatsheet to Getting Over Him or Her

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Breaking up, for the most part, pretty much sucks, regardless if you are the one doing the breaking up or the one being broken up with.  I’m not gonna lie, though, being the dumpee totally sucks way worse.  The only thing that’s really going to make you feel better is time and distance.  But, as my AA friends like to say, time takes time.  What to do while waiting for time to take it’s sweet goddamn time? The following are some things I’ve found to have helped me out in the past.  Whether or not this is a reflection of any recent events in my life is purely coincidental:

1.  Whatever you do, right after it happens, you just have to let it all out.  Cry until you feel like your eyes are going to fall out.  This increases the possibility that you won’t start spontaneously crying on the subway, work, or other inappropriate places afterwards.  I know it sucks, and you want to act like a tough guy, and not feel like you’ve been rejected or affected by the other person, but it’s just way better to get the cry out sooner rather than later.

2. After you’ve stopped crying, but you’re still feeling kinda mopey, listen to this repeatedly.  It’s sad, but it’s SO GOOD.  Kind of a perfect balance of happy and sad.

3.  Spend some quality time with good friends.  Maybe do some joint cooking or watch movies.  It’ll make you feel better that you now have more time to spend with them…especially if your friends are awesome and supportive.

4. Go dancing…or do something that makes you as happy as dancing makes me.  Sometimes you can weirdly work out some of your remaining rage when dancing.  Plus, it’s really fun, and you might even dance with someone cute.

5.  STOP STALKING HIM (or her) ON FACEBOOK.  Seriously, there is no good that can come of this.  It will just be fodder for all kinds of conjecture and conspiracy theories about what “this” or “that” means or meant when he/she said this, that & the other.  Remember: distance is key…even virtual distance.

6.  If you simply must think about them, just focus on the negative things about that person, or the lame things they’ve done to you.  This is the one time my chronic negativity actually pays off.  Glass half empty people, your glass is now half full…of hate!

7.  Jay-Z’s “Dirt Off Your Shoulder”: This is one of the many scenarios in which listening to this song is applicable.  It has never failed me, even if for only the duration of the song.  I guess “99 Problems” can also work.

8.  Do something you wouldn’t have been able to do had you continued dating them.  You can interpret this however you want to interpret it 🙂  Just don’t get arrested, ok?

9.  Don’t compare every person you go on a date with from here on out to your ex.  Don’t look for someone similar to your ex, look for someone BETTER.

10.  After you’re done crying, raging, and pretending to brush your shoulders off, actually brush yourself off, get up, and get back in there (wherever “there” is for you…doesn’t mean you have to start dating like a madperson), champ!  You made it!


Got any suggestions of your own?  Leave them as comments below.

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Anna G - Caliburg Contributor

Anna G - Caliburg Contributor

Anna G. is a Southern California native living in the Williamsburg area of Brooklyn since 2005. Anna is constantly trying to unite her love of CA sunshine and the excitement of the New York urban jungle, all the while trying to keep her unwieldy credit card debt under control, and look fabulous at brunch, no matter how un-showered and hungover.