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FREE: Kelso Beer Tasting at Bowery Whole Foods

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Once upon a time, not long ago , a group of avaricious sales directors over at Colt 45  heard tell of a place called Williamsburg. After snatching a skinny-jean-ed young man from the L train platform they forced him to reveal his secrets about the land beyond The River.

Delightedly learning that the area was populated by financially-challenged, irony-loving, alcohol-enthusiastic young peoples, they quickly called for a marketing analysis.   The numbers were run and the gentlemen spent the rest of the afternoon poring over sales sheets detailing the number of Schlitz’s and PBRs sold per month in the areas bars.  With greedy eyes shining they clapped their fat pink hands together and declared that they, too, wanted a piece of this Brooklyn revenue pie!  They began sponsoring event after event, party after party leaving nothing but nausea, sinus pain and bloated faces in their wake.

Don’t fall for it.  You may be broke but, dammit, you’re not in college anymore! Things have improved at least a little bit.   When you wanna smoke weed, you can buy a bag, you don’t  need to scrape your pipe for resin! And when you wanna drink you don’t have to resort to Malt Liquor.

Celebrate your slightly-elevated taste buds at the uber-bourgie Bowery Whole Foods where a wide variety of the local breweries beers will be available. Highlights include Saison and Newtown Kriek but a wide variety of Pilsner is also promised.  The tasting is totally free, but if there’s anything you like, you can get a whole Growler of the stuff for only 10 bucks!

Then take advantage of the fact that you’re in Whole Foods and soak up some of that booze by grazing at the various sample tables and trying to convince the people at the prepared foods counter to give you a “taste” of virtually everything.

Whole Foods Market /95 East Houston Street

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BAS Writers

BAS Writers

BAS Writers is mostly a collection of articles written by people for the early days of this site. Back then nobody knew that snarky articles they were writing could come back and haunt them when job searching a decade later.

2 Comments

  1. Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap
    June 19, 2009 at 8:55 am

    Wow. I feel like 10 years ago, if you’d told people on the Bowery that there’d eventually be Whole Foods there, they’d be like, “What’s a grocery store? Can I buy smack there?”

  2. BAS Writers

    Exactly! I can’t really imagine people spilling out of CBGBs after a punk show and heading over to get some artisinal cheeses and brown rice and quinoa salad