Broke-Ass Financial Coaching: Money, Will You Go Out With Me?
While being young, broke and beautiful is all well and good, some people’s finances are more jacked than others. That’s why we’ve invited Betsy Crouch (aka Coach $izzle) to come onboard and dole out some much needed advice. She is a professional financial coach after all. If you’ve got a question you’d like answered please email her at. Maybe your question will be the next one answered.
I can’t help but have the feeling that answering certain financial questions is like giving someone advice on gift giving to someone they don’t really like. What should I get for this person I don’t really like but I feel obligated to give something to? What I hear is: 'œI don’t like dealing with money, and I know I have to deal with it, so help me get this over with as quickly and as painlessly as possible. I don’t want to have (fill in financial challenge here) because that would mean that I am stupid or a bad person.' Sound familiar?
Many of you are spending a relatively significant amount of time worrying and beating yourself up about finances. If you are not in genuine survival mode you are most definitely wasting energy. I want you to feel powerful and empowered. You are not a bad person. You are not stupid. You may just need to try a new approach.
How would you describe your relationship with money as if you were describing your relationship with a person? Would you say,
- 'œOh we’re old friends, we talk all the time and have tons of fun together'?
- 'œWe have a tumultuous relationship”?
- “We have fun together but there is nothing serious about our relationship'œ?
- 'œI don’t like her, we don’t get along, we don’t understand each other'?
Paint a picture in your mind of this friend money. Let me ask you this, if you were moving into a new apartment and you called friend money and asked them to help you move, how would that feel? Would it be weird? Would it be like calling someone from high school you didn’t really like but invited them to do stuff because they didn’t drink (dd)/had a pool/had a hot sister/etc., and you always felt bad about it? 'œUh, hey dude! Uh, yeah, uh, could you help me move this weekend?' Awkward!
Where does money come from? Most of us trade our precious time and energy for pay. If you disrespect your money you are disrespecting your efforts to earn that money. Have you ever thought about it that way? Did you ever lose money? Did you ever get an overdraft charge because you did not balance your checkbook? Did you ever pay a credit card payment late, even when you had the money for it? These are all perfect examples of disrespect, and there are many more.
Unless you move to an area where there is a barter system, you are going to have to interact with money. Do you want to continue this weird relationship with your friend money? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. If you want different results you need to do something differently!
I have asked dozens of clients, 'œhow do you build a relationship with a person?'œ “Communicate' and 'œspend time together' are two of the most common answers.
Put 30 minutes in your schedule each week to spend with friend money.
Some of your financial challenges are a result of not making time with friend money a priority. What to do during this time? Pay bills, balance your checkbook, etc. What if you finish everything you have to do in 18 minutes? Well sit there and do something new related to money for 12 minutes. Read an article on a topic you are curious about, read a book, or write out your financial dreams and goals. Educate yourself. Knowledge is power. Create a space in your life to bring something new in!
Create a financial want/need to do list. When something pops in your mind that you need to do, 'œpay cc bill,' add it to the list. Address the list during your weekly scheduled time. This will help you compartmentalize your thinking about money, and after a few weeks you may find a sense of serenity knowing you have time set aside to take action, versus thinking and stressing about taking action.
I have seen many people experience dramatic changes in their confidence with money after only a few weeks, utilizing these two simple steps. Did their financial situation change dramatically in three weeks? No, their perspective changed, and the relationship changed.
Don’t neglect friend money and then be mad at him that he didn’t help you move. That isn’t fair. Invest some time in friend money and when you need him, he may just be there for you.
Comments? Questions? firstname.lastname@example.org