Broke-Ass of the Week

Broke-Ass of the Week – Lawrence Bonk of Another Day on Earth

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Every week we feature a different person from the community shedding a little light on their life of brokeitude.  Who knows, maybe you’ll learn something about the human spirit'probably not.

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Besides having a last name that’s an onomatopoeia, there are other reasons that Lawrence is awesome.  One of those reasons is because he’s the dude behind Another Day on Earth, a website where Lawrence writes and records an new song everyday.  Damn, I thought writing these poop joke laden website posts everyday was difficult, I can’t imagine having to write a whole song!

Other reasons why I like Lawrence are because he fantasizes about sleeping in a bed that floats in the air and because he blew his chance to kick it with Michael McDonald.  And mostly because he’s funny.  No that’s a lie, it’s mostly becuase his last name is Bonk.

Name: Lawrence Bonk

Age: 32

Occupation: Owner, propietor and short line cook for the blog Another Day on Earth in which I write and record a song each and every day. Donate. I’m poor.

What neighborhood do you live in?: Prospect Heights, Brooklyn

Best money saving tip: No matter how drunk you are. No matter how badly you screwed things up with a girl or guy. No matter how bored you think you’ll be, take the subway. Don’t fall into the 4 am car trap! That junk adds up.

What do you refuse to spend money on?: Personally, I don’t refuse to spend money on anything. However, my paltry bank account does the refusing for me. It’s a real naysayer and frankly I’m going to have my lawyers send it a tersely written letter. If that doesn’t work, well, there’s always the filibuster.

No, but being a New Yorker, I spend an inordinate amount of my money on food and drinks. Everything else gets thrown by the wayside. For instance, I’ve been wearing the same boxer shorts since 2002. I probably shouldn’t have said that.

Most expensive thing you’ve ever bought: An extremely fancy mixing console from Michael McDonald. Yes. That Michael McDonald. It was on eBay and we didn’t know it was him at the time. I think it was somewhere in the neighborhood of $7,000. This was a long time ago in another life, back when I was spending tons of money in order to build a “real studio.” Nowadays, the total worth of my gear is somewhere slightly less than a McChicken Value Meal. I like it better that way.

How’d that feel?: Horrible. I didn’t know Michael McDonald was involved and was tired from the day’s long drive. I took a nap in the van and let my friends conduct the transaction. They came back and regaled me with stories of hanging with the onetime Doobie and pal to Kenny Loggins. What a fool believes!

Favorite cheap eat: Spaghetti with the cheap Hunt’s canned sauce. It’s like 80 cents a can and much better than spaghetti with pepper and butter or whatever. Just don’t leave the can open in the fridge for too long. I hear that causes dysentery. Or maybe it was gout. One of those.

Favorite dive bar: Freddy’s on 6th Ave and Dean in Brooklyn. Most drinks are priced halfway down the dollar, meaning $1.50, $2.50 etc. This is good for me but kind of a bum deal for the bartenders. They also have a house band called “Ham.” Why did it take fifty years of popular music for a band to name themselve’s that? It’s not a particularly great name but I just always thought every simple word had been taken already, sort of like trying to snag simple AIM screen names like “hello” or “puppy.” Try it sometime. It’s tough.

Best deal you’ve ever gotten: The music answer. Once I got a 24 track 2 inch reel to reel for only $100. Those were the go to units for professional studio recording before computers came around. It was a beast of a machine. It broke constantly and had to be lugged five hours to Atlanta to get repaired when it did. Tapes cost $200, twice as much as what I paid for the unit. It also had more kinks than Glenn Beck in his bedroom at 4 am. Still, when the stars aligned, it was the greatest sounding thing on planet earth. I miss it. Not enough to scowl and don a “computers suck. analog 4ever!” t shirt, but still…

Favorite free thing to do: Hanging out with dogs that are tied up outside of delis and restaurants by their unscrupulous owners. It’s a blast until the owner comes back and shoots me “that look.” The “petting my dog is sorta like snatching the last french fry out of my mouth” look. Sorry dude. Not my fault your pooch likes me better.

If you woke up a millionaire, what’s the first thing you’d buy?: Every single item that shows up on late night cookware infomercials. And health insurance. Definitely health insurance. Was that answer too heavy in this political climate?

Despite not having money, do you still love your life?: I do sometimes and I don’t sometimes. I can honestly say it has little to do with money though. It’s usually based on how much sleep I got the night before. Wait. Now that I think about it. There’s a guy in Denmark who designed a bed that uses magnetic fields to float it in the air. Rides like a dream I hear. And quite a steal at only $1.5 million. There’s even a dog bed version available for just $140,000. Ok, now I’m depressed. Thanks a lot.

Do you own my book?: No, but if that’s offer, I am all ears. It seems like a neat premise. I used to fantasize about writing a book detailing my youthful forays into shoplifting. You know, a tongue in cheek but handy “how to not get caught” type thing. Of course, then I got caught. Curse you Abbie Hoffman!

Best hangover cure: Is that in your book? Because I sure don’t know. I usually just end up in bed chanting “oh God” over and over until it passes, which doesn’t happen for many, many hours. The part of my brain that is able to rationalize things positively shuts down during a hangover.

Are you a hipster?: I run a blog in which I write and record a song every day, with not a single one questioning Obama’s legitimacy as a citizen. I also like the Beatles and have been to brunch more than twice in my life. That must make me a hipster. The criteria has been pretty lax these days. Pretty soon it will be if you’ve ever seen art or if you’ve ever, even once, eaten a veggie burger.

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.

1 Comment

  1. […] Broke-Ass Stuart, in turn, turned me onto Lawrence Bonk (via his “Broke-Ass of the Week” section) of Another Day On Earth, a neat little blog […]