Anna G’s Best of Overheard In NY
If you don’t know about Overheard in New York, you clearly have a job that isn’t boring as shit. However, even if you do have a real job where you do stuff, you should really consider taking a stop here on the LAUGH train-o-Internet for this, amIright!? Here are my all-time favorites:
1. Hobo and Windex
[The subway doors open. A hobo enters, holding a bottle of windex in one hand and a tube of toothpaste in the other]
Hobo: Which is the better time to read Dostyevsky? Winter?
[He sprays the windex]
Hobo: Or Spring?
[He squeezes toothpaste out of the tube]
Japanese Girl: Spring!
Hobo: You are correct.
2. 5th Avenue & 9th St
Twentysomething guy: The quality of life here is so bad…I mean, if you enjoy drinking all night and having random sex, you’ll like living in New York.
3. Astoria-bound N Train Inspiration
Conductor: Never give up on life. Keep hope alive. This is 30th Avenue.
4. 6th Ave & 17th St.
Mother with little girl: Excuse me. My daughter wants to know if you’re a pirate.
Woman wearing bandana: No. I’m just a lesbian.
5. Well, they’ve got to relieve the stroller congestion somehow
Small child in stroller: Mommy, why did you wake me up? Don’t wake me up when I’m sleeping!
Mom: Fine. I’ll leave you on the train and you can miss your stop and then the rats will get you.
6. Wise Woman in Union Square
Woman on cell: When sex turns into math, you’ve got trouble on your hands.
7. Hobos are the best
Suit on cell: If he doesn’t get me the fucking money, I’ll kill that bitch!
Hobo: How about you give me some money, and I’ll kill that bitch?
8. Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza
Guy on cell: Um, I think I just saw Tony Danza ride past me on roller blades.
Tony Danza: Yeah, ya did!