Broke-Ass of the Week

Broke-Ass of the Week – merkley???

The Bay's best newsletter for underground events & news

Every week we feature a different person from the community shedding a little light on their life of brokeitude.  Who knows, maybe you’ll learn something about the human spirit'probably not.

Wanna be a Broke-Ass of the Week?  Holler at us here and we’ll send you the questionnaire.

merkley??? is a photographer, a mormon and a mad man.  And I mean all of those as compliments.  I’ve been a big fan of his for years.  He also has the best gig ever; he gets beautiful women to take off their clothes while he takes bizarre and brilliant photographs of them.  What more can you ask for in life really?

Last time I ran into him I was like, “merkley, you gotta be broke-ass of the week” and he was like, “ok”.  And that’s what follows is his sage and strange advice.  But if you wanna read a really great interview with him, check out this piece by Justin Juul for the SF Bay Guardian.  It’s awesome!  Also, make sure to check out merkley’s flickr page to see all of his dope shit!

Name: merkley???

Age: 111

Occupation: Smooth talker, body rocker, hip hopper, don’t stopper.

What neighborhood do you live in?: Lower haight/Alamo square

What are you listening to these days?: The unnerving sound of a citizenry curiously sucking it’s presidents wiener and swallowing.

Best money saving tip: Flask. duh.

What do you refuse to spend money on?: Molecular gastronomy.

Most expensive thing you’ve ever bought: My house

How’d that feel?: Sorta like I was Filipino or some other type of Asian, maybe Arab?

Favorite cheap eat: Various SF Taquerias Including but not limited to El Castillito, El Farolito and Taqueria Cancun.

Favorite dive bar: The Attic, unless Amber qualifies as a dive. I miss The Transfer. Weeknights at Beauty Bar, although it doesn’t really qualify as a dive. Basically any velvet ropeless, walkie talkie free joint with extrovert patrons who invent their own outfits and are enthusiastically engaged in hairdo one upsmanship. SF Underground can be fun sometimes.

Best deal you’ve ever gotten: Unlimited Free Internet Porn.

Favorite free thing to do: Sleep

If you woke up a millionaire, what’s the first thing you’d buy?: A Maid and someone to keep an eye on her so she doesn’t sell my secrets to hostile governmental agencies domestic and foreign.

Despite not having money, do you still love your life?: Wait, so am I supposed to be totally legitimately broke here then? Cuz I ain’t. When I WAS totally broke, I certainly thought I loved my life. I prefer being NOT or at least LESS broke. Being broke in the USA certainly ain’t no big thing though. I have little tolerance for whining.

Do you own my book?: Nope. Maybe that’s why you are broke. 🙂 Do you own MINE?

Best hangover cure: Last thing before you go to bed drunk, eat a burrito and drink a tall glass of water. You won’t even get a hangover.

Are you a hipster?: I’m a Mormon.

ALL PHOTOS BY merkley???

Like this article? Make sure to sign up for our mailing list so you never miss a goddamn thing!
Previous post

5 Promising Spring Trends

Next post

Upgrade Your Comfort Foods Part 3: Gourmet Mac and Cheese

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle, "an SF cult hero":SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.

1 Comment

  1. […] over to Broke Ass Stuart’s Goddamned Website for more Q&A with Merkley??? and some of his NSFW […]