Broke-Ass of the Week

Broke-Ass of the Week – Comedian Brent Weinbach

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Brent mimicking himself emerging from the birth canal. He always does this on his birthday.

Brent Weinbach is one of those names that’s been bouncing around the peripherals of my consciousness for awhile.  It’s like, I know I’d heard of him a bunch of times (probably through America’s Radio Sweetheart Jesse Thorn), but I wasn’t sure where.  All I knew was that everyone said he was super funny.

Then a few weeks ago I was out at The Blue Six Gallery for a show and my good friend Anton Patzner of Judgement Day said, “Hey Stuart, I want you meet Brent Weinbach” and I did.

You know when you’re out and about and you meet someone cute, how you go home and check them out on Facebook?  Well, I did the same kinda stalker shit to Brent, except I watched his comedy clips instead of trying to find a picture of him in a bikini to beat off too.  Then I did actually find a picture of him in a bikini and beat off to it.  But that’s a whole other story…

Check out Brent’s hilarious answers to my asinine questions below and then check out his clips that I linked to above.  Since I know you’ll like it, I should let you know that

Brent is headlining five shows in San Francisco this week. With special guests Moshe Kasher and Josh Fadem. Co-presented by SF Sketchfest. Here’s all the information and a discount ticket link):

SHOWDATE: Thursday through Saturday, January 21-23, 2009
SHOWTIME: 8:00pm and 10:00pm (Fri. and Sat. only)
SHOWPLACE: Punch Line Comedy Club, 444 Battery St., SF, CA 94111
ADMISSION: $15-21 (+2 drink min.) But much cheaper here.

Name: Brent Weinbach

Age: New

Occupation: I say the word “penis” a lot of times, and then I talk about poo.

What neighborhood do you live in?: I used to live in a neighborhood that had an abandoned house. I explored the house one day and discovered that the house was inhabited by a homeless transvestite who wore a mop on his head as a wig. It was a mystery and an adventure. I felt like a Hardy boy.

What are you listening to these days?: Hardcore smooth jazz. Because is makes my life seem like a movie, as if I’m a co-star in an erotic thriller, driving around town on a hot city night.

Best money saving tip: I kept saving my money only to spend it on things like getting my car out of the impound which was towed for unfair reasons and plastic surgery for my father’s face. I decided recently to start spending money on myself, because I should enjoy it, not the tow company. So my money saving tip is this: spend it and enjoy it, because if you don’t, it’s only going to go towards the beautification of my father’s face.

What do you refuse to spend money on?: I refuse to spend money on Roni. He’s just so ungrateful. Whenever I spent money on him in the past, he would just act as if he deserved to be treated that way. Forget you, Roni, I’m not spending money on you anymore. You don’t deserve it.

Most expensive thing you’ve ever bought: Once, I bought Roni a membership to the RRFC (Robert Redford Fan Club).

How’d that feel?: I guess it was fine because the RRFC doesn’t actually exist. Neither does Roni. But you want to know what does exist? www.KevinCostner.com. It really does. Look it up for yourself.

Favorite cheap eat: El Zocolo in the Mission District. The have pupusas for $2.00 a piece (they used to be $1.50 a piece). Two pupusas and you’re set for the night. And I’ve never seen a roach there. This place in Berkeley, however, once, I was eating there and I saw a hair in my food. I pulled the hair out and it turned out to be the antenna to a roach, and I ended up pulling the whole roach out of the food. I showed it to my waiter and he said, “Ha ha ha, at least you know it’s fresh!” And it did, in fact, taste very fresh. I think they were free range roaches. Actually, I think all roaches are free range.

Favorite dive bar: I don’t like bars, because they’re all loud and sticky. I don’t want to get all that stickiness on me. I don’t want to be sticky. That’s why I don’t like glitter. I hate glitter and I wish girls (and certain guys) didn’t wear it. It gets all over the place and you can’t get it off of you. You can’t get it off your clothes. Imagine a sticky dive bar with a glitter theme! That would be the ultimate worst.

Best deal you’ve ever gotten: Once, my butthole looked like a scrotum with a third testicle inside of it. What a spiritual experience it was for my third testicle to open. Diarrhea gave that to me for free!

Favorite free thing to do: My favorite free thing to do is laugh. My second favorite free thing to do is sleep. Because when I sleep, I get to dream. And my dreams are much, much more exciting than what goes on in my real life. But I will say, there was this one time, my dream was so boring, it woke me up.

If you woke up a millionaire, what’s the first thing you’d buy?: I would by a Safeway. Just imagine walking into a Safeway and being able to get anything you wanted. I would get everything!

Despite not having money, do you still love your life?: I believe it was the television program “Kid Nation” who once coined the phrase, “Money is the root of all evil.” And I believe it was I who once coined the phrase, “If you can achieve it, you can dream it.” And when you dream it you will then learn the true meaning of world penis.

Do you own my book?: No, but I saw the movie.

Best hangover cure: Just say no to drugs. Ronald Reagan is inside of me. And he should be inside all of us.

Are you a hipster?: I don’t wear Bugle Boy jeans, so no. But Roni still wears Jordache. Does that make me a hipster?

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".

3 Comments

  1. Logan
    January 21, 2010 at 11:15 am

    A few years back I went on a date with Brent weinbach. I think he took me to el zocolo because our bill was literally about six dollars. He also smelled his chair before he sat down in it. And, no, he didn’t ask me out but announced at one of his shows to sign up for the mailing list and the adjacent “who wants to go on a date with Brent weinbach” list. I think mine was the only name that wasn’t a joke. I got the distinct feeling that his comedy act was anything but an act, but his personality which translates well as comedy.

  2. I have not gone on a date with Brent, but, I did go to Kevin Costner’s website that Brent provided. What a resource! As for the chair smelling, well having a fundament that looks like three testicles might encourage that behavior.

  3. Anna G - Caliburg Contributor
    January 21, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    What a card! I saw him and Morgan Murphy open for Patton Oswalt once, I believe.