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Adult Education: Can Your Wrist Shoot Webs?

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Every time I’ve watched an Austin Powers movie, I’ve thought that I’d like to rig my boobs to shoot bullets like the fembots (but with the ability to switch back to regular boobs sometimes). I know this is impossible, as they are robots and I’m not interested in becoming a cyborg. But I guess it’d be more realistic than suddenly developing a super power after getting bitten by a radioactive animal. As my sister told her middle school students, nuclear waste won’t turn you into a ninja turtle. Luckily, people with actual science training have given these important questions more serious thought than I am capable of, and Union Hall finds them to speak at their Adult Education presents series. Tomorrow night, you can hear informal lectures on how a human wrist’s anatomy would need to change to shoot webs like superman, why people are obsessed with the idea of owning monkeys even though we’re primates, the history of rabbit breeding, and how people have unrealistic expectations of dogs. These are pressing issues that you’d normally have to attend a school like Bennington or Evergreen State College to learn about.

Adult Education Presents “Animal Minds, Animal Bodies”
Union Hall
702 Union Avenue, between 5th and 6th Avenues [Park Slope, Brooklyn]
Tuesday, March 2, 7:30pm

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Kiley E - Ragamuffin Researcher

Kiley E - Ragamuffin Researcher

After years of denial, Kiley has finally admitted to baring a striking resemblance to Velma from Scooby Doo. Instead of traveling in a van hunting ghosts, she prefers wandering on foot in search of tacos, cheap beer, and fake birds. Growing up in Portland, Kiley enjoyed the balance of urban and green spaces. Then she spent her four years at Ithaca College, and found herself craving more sprawling asphalt in her life. So she moved to Williamsburg, Brooklyn, where most of the buildings look like they're about to collapse. Kiley's favorite activities include: getting lost, crafting, sewing, biking, and geeking out at museums. Her love of taxidermy probably makes her a terrible vegetarian, but she doesn't care.