Broke-Ass Porn

Broke-Ass Porn: Sideboob

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Once a week we present Broke-Ass Porn.  It’s visually stimulating material for the financially impaired.  If this shit doesn’t get you going, you’re not as broke as you thought:

Yesterday Andrew posted some pretty epic Tiffani-Amber Theissen sideboob.  This got me thinking that in a land where nipples are airbrushed out of photos, sideboob is king.  But really, how fucked up is that?  The morality police somehow decided that nipples (which everyone has) are too risque, so they’d rather you see some weird mutant nipple-less boobs.  I saw a facebook update recently, I think by Matt Haney, that said, “There is nothing more family friendly than a nipple”.  If you think about it, that’s pretty much one of the most honest statements in the world.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

With nipples being outlawed it only makes sense that we find ourselves gravitating towards the more accessible sideboob.  It’s a path of least resistance, the poor man’s porn.  Any guy who was a teenager before readily accessible internet porn existed can attest to that.  The Victoria’s Secret catalogue is a veritable clearing house for sideboob, and for that my 15 year old self salutes it.

While I truly think America’s squeamishness about nipples is ridiculous (every single one of you has sucked on one), I admire the tenacity represented by our  nation’s willingness to fetishize the sideboob instead.  I mean really, that picture at the top of the page is just about driving me crazy.  If you’re also sideboob fan I recommend you check out this sideboob tumblr.

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".