Arts and Culture

The Idiocy of Drew Barrymore

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It’s possible that lately, Drew Barrymore has been saying really obnoxious and “controversial” things to promote her production company’s projects.  But more than likely, she’s just a complete moron who, in true moron style, takes herself way seriously.  I guess what irks me the most about her soundbites is that she claims to be some sort of feminist who’s interested in empowering women, when in reality, almost everything I’ve heard her say with regards to women in the entertainment industry completely undermines the accomplishments and potential of virtually any other woman aside from herself.  To be fair, though, I was very surprised to be impressed with her performance in Grey Gardens.  This does not, however, excuse her from being an idiot in real life.

Let’s take a short journey down idiocy lane:

1) “I’m like a 13- or 14-year-old boy who loves fun music and hot chicks and sports, and I like empowerment and women who are capable and humorous. I love comedy and jokes. I am always the person who is fighting in marketing meetings, '˜Please don’t forget the boys. Remember them too.’ Whenever people get too girly, I am, like, '˜No, no.’ I just appreciate women. And whether I fall in love with their minds or their hearts and their talents, that is really what gets me hot.” (via Jezebel)

Comedy AND jokes?  Is there anything she DOESN’T LIKE??? It’s as though someone prompted her to use at least 50 buzzwords and not stop talking for 3 minutes straight.  Nothing spells women’s empowerment like “PLEASE DON’T FORGET ABOUT THE BOYS” and  “THINGS THAT GIRLS LIKE SUCK!”  Also, is the conclusion here that she’s like a horny 13 year old boy?  You know, if there’s one defining characteristic about tween boys, it’s their nuanced appreciation for women.  Just like in that music video Stacy’s Mom!  Amirite?

2) Drew’s advice to older actresses who find there to be a lack of roles for their age group: “I admit I’ve been fortunate. I’m not at that place yet, age-wise, and maybe when I am I’ll feel that way. But I think, ‘Get over it! Don’t be bitter and complainy! Figure out something else to do with your life.’ It sucks that it’s sexist, and it sucks that it’s not often the case for men, but you don’t have to sit on the couch and be angry that you’re not getting roles. Pick up a camera, work at a dog rescue home, become a writer '“ there are a million things to do in this world.”(via Daily Mail)

You know what solves problems?  Not acknowledging them, and giving up, apparently, according to Drew.  If only Sojourner Truth had heeded her advice.  I know it’s hard for her to grasp that not everyone became famous for being related to other famous people, starring in an emotionally manipulative 2-hour advertisement for coca cola, and swiping your mom’s drugs.  But, yeah, for the other 99% of the acting population, it’s probably not the easiest thing in the world to just switch careers or create roles for yourself in self-produced movies.  Nothing like likening yourself to a 13 year old boy to dissuade any potential acknowledgement about the existence of sexism in Hollywood, right Drew?!  Now, let’s forget all our problems with a nice batch of cookies we’ve baked for the boys!

3) “Every morning I stay in bed for ten minutes to ponder my place in the universe. Then I wash my face and check my karma” (via imdb)

Ok so this isn’t a quote that directly bashes women, but you have to admit: it really is SO FUCKING EXCRUCIATINGLY STUPID.  Check my karma?  Go fuck yourself.

4) “Feminism scares me. It seems like it bashes males, and I like men. Why can’t it just be equality?” (via print US magazine)

Spoken like someone who’s truly never heard of, much less been to college or read even a synopsis of a book on contemporary Feminism.  And actually, Drew’s never completed high school.  This shit really irks me, though, because I can’t believe there are people other than Bill O’Reilly that actually believe in the suffragist cartoon version of Feminism.  You know who else said something like this (in Bust magazine, no less) and why I can’t stand her?  Patti “The Most Overrated NYC Personality” Smith.

If people like Drew Barrymnore and Patti Smith are celebrities most associated with feminism, that is a fucking sad state of affairs.  Can we please stop lauding these assholes as champions for women?  Thanks.

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Anna G - Caliburg Contributor

Anna G - Caliburg Contributor

Anna G. is a Southern California native living in the Williamsburg area of Brooklyn since 2005. Anna is constantly trying to unite her love of CA sunshine and the excitement of the New York urban jungle, all the while trying to keep her unwieldy credit card debt under control, and look fabulous at brunch, no matter how un-showered and hungover.