Not Recommended: Union Street Festival
Once upon a time, I was a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed East Coast transplant with some embarrassingly fratty friends who convinced me to hang out in the Marina one too many times. One time I heard a guy, who lived within 0.5 blocks of the bullshit nexus of the universe (Union and Fillmore) say he didn’t live in the Marina, he lived in Cow Hollow. That’s like saying you don’t live in the frat house, but you live in a house full of your frat brothers 2 blocks away because it’s easier to pull chicks or trick bitches or snake the grass – Whatever it is the lacrosse players say these days.
Anyway, the point is, over the past couple years this particular street festival has gone from being the city’s largest beer garden with some pretty lax open container laws to being a
douchebag penis wrinkle germination area. I went last year after being at a rooftop BBQ on Nob Hill with a spectacular view and I deeply regretted leaving immediately after I saw the line just to get near the overpriced beer sellers. This year they’re branding it as an environmentally friendly eco-fest, but I’ll bet you an $8 Miller Lite that it’s still overcrowded and boring.
A much better bet this weekend? Indie Mart. Stuart’s gonna be there, so go give him a high-five, buy some handmade shit without all the Etsy shipping costs and drink some cheap beer or Bloody Marys in plastic cups. The bathroom line still kinda sucks though.