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Meet Tyler Florence Today and Find Out if He’s Gay

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Just me and the 'ghetti.

I kind of hate The Food Network by virtue of an ex I lived with who made me suffer through countless homemade Italian meals from Giada, dozens of secret ingredients and frenzied kitchen helpers on “Iron Chef,” and clearly not enough cooking-for-dummies lessons courtesy of Rachael Ray since I still can’t cook.

But I LOVE gossip.  For instance, is Tyler Florence of Food Network fame gay?  His wife and kids may argue no, but I say absolutely.  All male chefs are, at least according to my grandma.  The gay-or-not question has been bouncing around in my brain for at least, oh, the last ten minutes, and I NEED an answer.

Which I will obtain today at Justin Herman Plaza, where Mr. Florence will be signing autographs and taking photos with a milk mustache to promote his “Got Milk” ad.  Definitely a little gay.

I’m not all mean, bad lady, though.  After assaulting him and asking the entirely too-personal and inappropriate question of his sexual orientation, I do plan to thank Tyler for this recipe, because soup is the only food my domestically-challenged self is capable of not ruining, and this recipe, which has added five pounds to my ass (good thing I refuse to wear anything other than the stretchy leggings-as-pants that are reminiscent of my ’80s childhood).  Thanks, Tyler.  Thanks a lot.

Meet Tyler Florence at Justin Herman Plaza Wednesday, July 7, 11am-2pm 1 Market Street, Embarcadero Plaza [Embarcadero] FREE
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Christy Jovanelly - Cheapskate Commentator

Christy Jovanelly - Cheapskate Commentator

When Christy announced she was leaving her family's Southern California home and moving to San Francisco, her mom said, "Have fun in that den of sin." This is the only (however sarcastic) advice Christy has ever taken from her mom, who also told her to join and cover her eyes during sex scenes in movies. Christy puts her creative writing degree to good use by locating the typos on Chinese food menus and spends most of her time challenging friends to all-you-can-eat contests and trying to get that one bartender at Zeitgeist to smile.