Meet Tyler Florence Today and Find Out if He’s Gay

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I kind of hate The Food Network by virtue of an ex I lived with who made me suffer through countless homemade Italian meals from Giada, dozens of secret ingredients and frenzied kitchen helpers on “Iron Chef,” and clearly not enough cooking-for-dummies lessons courtesy of Rachael Ray since I still can’t cook.

But I LOVE gossip.  For instance, is Tyler Florence of Food Network fame gay?  His wife and kids may argue no, but I say absolutely.  All male chefs are, at least according to my grandma.  The gay-or-not question has been bouncing around in my brain for at least, oh, the last ten minutes, and I NEED an answer.

Which I will obtain today at Justin Herman Plaza, where Mr. Florence will be signing autographs and taking photos with a milk mustache to promote his “Got Milk” ad.  Definitely a little gay.

I’m not all mean, bad lady, though.  After assaulting him and asking the entirely too-personal and inappropriate question of his sexual orientation, I do plan to thank Tyler for this recipe, because soup is the only food my domestically-challenged self is capable of not ruining, and this recipe, which has added five pounds to my ass (good thing I refuse to wear anything other than the stretchy leggings-as-pants that are reminiscent of my ’80s childhood).  Thanks, Tyler.  Thanks a lot.

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