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A Night at the Uptown, Minus the Prostitutes

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Barfly Be Thy Name – The Uptown

“Seedy, working girl bar” is the way I’ve heard the Uptown best described ever since moving to the city, but on a recent Friday night there wasn’t a lady of the evening to be found. I was meeting my friend Sabina, in for the evening from Oakland, and upon my arrival the place was overflowing from capacity.

I’ve been to the Uptown many times over the years, but I had never quite seen it like that, although to be fair, there was some sort of warehouse party going on next door, so the greasy-headed overflow was to be expected I guess.

The prostitutes came up in conversation many times over the course of the evening, and almost every friend and acquaintance I ran into was also wondering where they were. Most assumed the probable crackdown.

Popular at the moment, the Uptown may be, but thankfully it still feels like a skid row dive with drinks in flavors of gasoline and acetone to match.

The sweaty claustrophobia was beginning to make me panicky, so I angled outside for a cigarette, walking by a girl that looked like Louise Lasser from Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman.

Outside the conversation once again returned to the women of Capp Street and how they were nowhere to be seen. Again a raid was the general consensus, but my friend Paul started talking about Giuliani and New York. Let’s hope not.

The Uptown
200 Capp Street (@ 17th)
[Inner Mission]

photo from TheMakazine’s flicker account

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Stephen Torres - Threadbare-Fact Finder (Editor, San Francisco)

Stephen Torres - Threadbare-Fact Finder (Editor, San Francisco)

Stephen's early years were spent in a boxcar overlooking downtown Los Angeles. From there he moved around the state with his family before settling under the warm blanket of smog that covers suburban Southern California. Moving around led to his inability to stay in one place for very long, but San Francisco has been reeling him back in with its siren song since 1999.
By trade he pours booze, but likes to think he can write and does so occasionally for the SF Bay Guardian, Bold Italic and 7x7. He also likes to enjoy time spent in old eateries, bars and businesses that, by most standards, would have been condemned a long time ago.


  1. Ben
    July 26, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    Some loser obsesses over imaginary prostitutes, slanders a great bar in the process. The Uptown is far better than you are.

  2. July 26, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    yeah this post is silly. obviously you dont go there much and have silly friends. you’re silly. there are no prosti’s at the uptown brah. if there were i’d holler at them. word.

  3. July 26, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    (frontal lobe slap)

  4. Stephen Torres - Threadbare-Fact Finder (Editor, San Francisco)
    July 26, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    I love the Uptown. What’s wrong with prostitutes? Everybody’s gotta make a living.

  5. Jay
    July 26, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    Prostitutes do NOT hang out at Uptown. I lived across the street for 7 years and while they do hang out in the ‘hood, they do NOT go in and are not tolerated in there at all.

    • Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap
      July 27, 2010 at 10:20 am

      To be fair, while I’ve seen plenty of girls working outside the bar, I’ve never seen any in the bar. That being said, if Stephen (who wrote the post) says he has, I don’t doubt him. It’s not too far fetched that the girls would wanna get a drink at the place they’ve been hanging outside of all night.

  6. SCUM
    July 27, 2010 at 10:22 am

    While a bunch of seedy and shifty characters do hang out there during the day, and dirtbag hipsters at night, I have never seen nor heard of the working girls ever being allowed inside. If you are insinuating that any of the fine ladies that frequent the bar, including my girlfriend are hoes just ask for me (elliot) and I will be happy to remove some of those troublesome teeth of yours.

  7. sabina
    July 28, 2010 at 11:00 am

    it’s always nice when meatheads use the same username on multiple blogs.

  8. SCUM
    July 29, 2010 at 2:54 pm

    This “meathead” uses the same name everywhere, I do not hide behind multiple personalities.