Sex and Dating

Online Dating Tips

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A good friend of mine recently got back into online dating after a long break and just getting out of a 6 month relationship. YES guys, really, it is actually NOT me, because otherwise,I would just admit it. Though I haven’t been on the reception end of an online dating website since aught seven and a fortnight, I still remember a thing or two about a thing or two.

And so I share my insight with you all, just as I did with my friend:

1) If 2 of 3 photos make the person appear attractive, but the 3rd is questionable

I would say, just skip it entirely if you really can’t make up your mind. Everyone online, more often than not, are unattractive, but are just pretty good at hiding it.  If you’re anything like me, you’re probably not going to get past someone being an ug-face, especially when just meeting someone for the first time. I’m just of the camp that if I’m going  to date someone unattractive, that it simply can’t be in this or a blind date scenario. I need to be charmed by them in person for a quite a while first before making any kind of second date decisions.

2) If they make a terrible joke

Again, for me, making a bad or offensive joke is pretty much a deal-breaker. Best case scenario, they probably just don’t or won’t “get” you. Worst case scenario, they’re raging serial killers.

3) If they make a weird sexual reference

I’m not talking about regular flirting– but like, if anything seems weird or out of nowhere, even if you’re just looking to hook up, it’s probably a bad sign if the person you’re messaging with make some sort of crude or sleazy comment. Just shut it down.

4) If they try to start a fight with you

I feel like some guys think this is like a form of “negging” or some such nonsense. It’s one thing to have a genuine discussion or disagreement, but it’s quite another to have someone pushing your buttons in hopes they’ll get laid.

Guess Who's Coming to Dahmer?

5) If they say they’ve met or seen you before and you have no recollection of such an encounter

It’s quite possible their story is true. So basically, they’re either a LIAR or a crazy stalker. Proceed at your own own risk.

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Anna G - Caliburg Contributor

Anna G - Caliburg Contributor

Anna G. is a Southern California native living in the Williamsburg area of Brooklyn since 2005. Anna is constantly trying to unite her love of CA sunshine and the excitement of the New York urban jungle, all the while trying to keep her unwieldy credit card debt under control, and look fabulous at brunch, no matter how un-showered and hungover.


  1. j.collier
    August 23, 2010 at 12:18 pm

    Here’s an online dating site that’s free…., not sure if it’s been mentioned here before. It’s called plenty of fish, or for short. Its free to send messages.

  2. Jason H
    August 23, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    This article just perpetuates the difficulties good guys face in trying to find a 21st century smart, sexy and caring woman to be with.

    Women want men to have this perfect mix sanity when trying to convince you over an email, a few online photos and some bullshit questions answered that they are decent enough to give a try.

    You have more risk talking to a random approach at a bar than you do with all the research you can conduct about a person online. In fact, that is what my problem with the online dating woman culture- there is TOO MUCH for you to use to pick us men apart.

    Men want a woman that is independent… that doesn’t want that traditional man/woman relationship. Isn’t that what women want too? But here is a prime example of why there is still so much difficulty in communicating with women (from a man’s perspective)- Women want there feminism and they want to eat it too.

    Modern women, please lighten up and realize that men just want to be loved too. We are going to be goofy, indecent and even creepy when we are trying so hard to meet the demands of women.

    It would be better served if women took a more proactive role and wrote to men on dating sites. You women get so many emails from guys that you can just sit back and critique the hell out of all of them.

    You want to find a good guy? If you seriously want to find a good guy- do yourself a favor, come down off that pedestal and realize that some good guys out there need you to email them with all your craziness. I think we are more open minded to you saying something stupid or sounding creepy than women are.

    This article is not helpful imho for women looking to online date. Sorry!

    Here’s my okCupid profile. I should mention that I am seeing someone and not actively looking but just so you know I’m a real person…

  3. Anna G - Caliburg Contributor
    August 26, 2010 at 11:39 am

    I’m not really sure how one can “eat” feminism, but I just wanted to clarify that this advice isn’t limited to guys who send you messages. In fact, I encouraged my friend to actively message guys herself. I’m not saying everyone has to be perfect, but bottom line- it’s better to be safe than sorry. And in fact, it’s better to be alone than with someone you’re not super stoked about.

  4. February 16, 2011 at 4:20 am

    I have done some research into online dating and have been highly impressed by what can be achieved. For the guy that is perhaps a little bit shy in the real world can simply join and then either search or better still be found.

  5. May 2, 2011 at 10:23 am

    Some on-line dating services specialize, for example by religious or ethnic preference. One site, Christian Dating Service exists simply to review other