Sex and Dating

Caption The Couple

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It all started when I was on a weekend getaway with a man friend. We were staying at the apartment of a good friend of his who was engaged and living with his fiancee. Anyway, they had this corkboard in their kitchen area upon which various cards, Save-The-Dates, receipts, photos, whatever people put on corkboards could be found. One of the photos was of the said friend and his fiancee at some sort of conference (they work in the same industry) in which they were wearing name tags and smiling, his arm over her shoulder. My man friend, being the stealth funny-maker he is, walks by and nonchalantly points at the photo and says in his best “Great Job” voice (the “Great Job” part of “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job”, that is): “Hi, we’re a couple”.

Well, perhaps the proverbial “you had to be there” sort of applies, but that doesn’t mean you can’t partake in the game I just made up called “Caption The Couple”. Basically, you find photos of couples on the interwebz, and either create a dialogue or some sort of caption/commentary back & forth on IM with someone. It’s kind of like The New Yorker cartoon contests, but about 50 billion times more lowbrow, and actually makes sense (hopefully).

Away we go.

Couple #1

Chad was just arrested for indecent exposure and drunk driving while listening to “Butterfly” by Crazytown when he met Cammie in the drunk tank, who was in for being the ringleader to a  bachelorette party gone very wrong (that was the actual charge). That night, they discussed life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. Obviously, they decided to “never let go” and that they completed each other, just like Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee. This photo was taken just before they had a disagreement about which matching neck tattoo they ought to get and broke up forever.

Couple #2

Man: Hey-ya beautiful, what’s say you and me take a ride in my automobile and paint the town red?

Woman: Hee hee, I don’t go riding off with strange men!

Man: Well, I slipped you a mickey, and in these days, that’s legal, so, technically you really have no choice about it, see?

Woman: Whatever you say! I guess it’s better than getting beaten by my father with a steel rod, which is also legal.

Couple #3

On the next A&E’s Inside the Minds of Murderers: how the hell did no one see this coming?

Couple #4


Couple #5

Amber and Michael met as extras on the set of Mannequin 5: The Waxening. Michael proposed to Amber at their favorite restaurant, PF Chang’s, and once she said yes, they, in unison, both exclaimed: RAMADA HERE WE COME!

Now it’s your turn to try!  Leave your captions in the comments below.

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Anna G - Caliburg Contributor

Anna G - Caliburg Contributor

Anna G. is a Southern California native living in the Williamsburg area of Brooklyn since 2005. Anna is constantly trying to unite her love of CA sunshine and the excitement of the New York urban jungle, all the while trying to keep her unwieldy credit card debt under control, and look fabulous at brunch, no matter how un-showered and hungover.