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5 Last Minute Inspiration-Bits for Great Holiday Gifts

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Christmas is next week and if you’re like me (hopefully you’re not), you have done zero Christmas shopping and have no clue what to do about the myriad people in your life who have probably already thoughtfully purchased and wrapped a very special present for you.  Have no fear! There is a quick and relatively cheap way to solve these problems with only one shopping trip, or in some cases, just a quick break from Pornotube! Behold!

Blue Ribbon General Store

The bricks and mortar shop in Beorum Hill is great but the online store is pretty solid as well and if you act now you can get them to ship all of your everything before Jesus Big Birthday Party goes down. Beauty products, calendars, tote bags, a Lego set of the Guggenheim Museum, an eraser shaped like a giant diamond ring: all of those things and much much more can delight your loved ones this holiday season.

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Fred Flare

Imagine, if you will, a far less annoying Urban Outfitters with similarly cool, kitschy items which may not be the stuff of heirlooms but which still do manage to be clever affordable ways to enchant people. Eh? Camaahnnn

Ad Hoc It

Here’s a great tip from Jezebel Editor Sadie Stein :

Pick up a vintage purse at a thrift shop and then fill it with cheap necessities: notebook, pen, coin purse, gum, band-aids, hotel sewing-kit, mini Advil, stain-remover, vintage hankie etc. I usually include an old pulp paperback. You can also do theme ones (ie for a new job or travel) but the point is to keep it cheap and eclectic.

Maybe some of the contents here described is a bit on the twee side, but you can mix and match and find something that’s more appropriate. The bottom line is that even the wrapping on this baby is functional and the person inside will feel that warm “Aw, she/he gives a shit” glow.

Coupons You Invent

You know how women’s magazines are always saying “Give your man a coupon good for one “Free Hot Oil Massage”, or “2 Upside Down Blowjobs” or whatever Cosmo is trying to convince you is sexy these days. Well, they’re wrong but the idea can be good.  Give a takeout-obsessed friend the gift of a home cooked meal (throw in a bottle of budget-friendly wine), offer to organize a friends apartment if they need it, do a bunch of errands and chores for your mom when you’re home. I once lost a best to a friend that I thought I had NO chance of losing. In exchange she was allowed to dare me to do anything not illegal or potentially dangerous (to me) and I had to do it. A coupon for one dare means giving the gift of public humiliation!

Drunk Pack

A bottle of their favorite booze, a decentish glass to drink it out of, whether it’s wine, beer, or liquor, a mix CD of fun drinking songs plus two Advi, a bottle of Poland Spring  and a packet of Emergen-C make the perfect gift for your very favorite alcoholic.

Don’t like any of my suggestions?  When in doubt the following books are great gifts. There’s something for everyone, here, here, here or here.

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BAS Writers

BAS Writers is mostly a collection of articles written by people for the early days of this site. Back then nobody knew that snarky articles they were writing could come back and haunt them when job searching a decade later.