Broke-Ass Porn

Broke-Ass Porn: Street Furniture

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Once a week we present Broke-Ass Porn.  It’s visually stimulating material for the financially impaired.  If this shit doesn’t get you going, you’re not as broke as you thought:

Oh street furniture, how you break my heart.  There was a time in the not too distant past where you could pick up pretty much any furniture from the street and bring it into your place of residence.  Barring instances of rain or homeless people shit/vomit/fuck stains, most furniture you found was in decent enough condition to reasonably become part of your living room. Then these fuckers came back with a vengeance.  Yes, bed bugs have virtually ruined one of the main ways I’ve been able to afford furnishings.

A little bit ago a friend of mine wrote this article about the resurgence of bed bugs in the United States.  I’m not gonna go into detail about it because that’s his job, but I do have to say you should read the article if you’re as despondent about the loss of street furniture as I am.

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Don’t get me wrong, there are still some things you can get off the street, like the awesome 60s pea green lamp we found, but you do have to be careful.  Wow, I guess this wasn’t really isn’t a Broke-Ass Porn as much as it is a Broke-Ass Mourn.  Sorry about that folks.  Bed bugs fucking suck, trust me, I lived with those fuckers in Brooklyn.

Do you have any bed bug stories?  If so please share them below.  Or if you wanna be up beat, please tell us about the best piece of furniture you ever found on the street.

Image from the Gowanus Lounge

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website BrokeAssStuart.com is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, Geek.com and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.

4 Comments

  1. Roxanne
    October 24, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    A couple weeks ago I was on my way to see a movie in Berkeley with my man-friend. Right as we found street parking, I spotted it. A 50’s Virtue Brothers chrome and Formica kitchen table with a full set of matching chrome and vinyl chairs. They were just like the set my grandma used to have. We ended up being too broke to actually afford to go see the movie (which we were later told was horrible) but I finally have a table in my apartment, and it’s freaking rad. And bedbug free.

  2. Laura S - Spendthrift Scribe
    October 25, 2009 at 8:33 am

    I found a red chair that had 4 legs on each side sort of like a modern rocking chair and it had a counter on the front and would keep track of how many times you rocked back and forth on it. Obviously some design student’s cast-off. I also found a giant wooden throne in the village that is also in my house now.

  3. […] was inspired by Stuart’s post of “Street Furniture” yesterday, and the lengths people will go to score cheap or free furniture.  I’ve scored my […]

  4. September 8, 2011 at 3:53 am

    Haha, can remember back to my student days picking up any ole random furniture on the side of the street and taking it back to our house shares. Fortunately, I can’t recall having ‘acquired’ any furniture riddled with bedbugs however! 😀