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The Awesomeness Palace Fried Chicken in Greenpoint

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*Just so you know, the Paul mentioned here is Paul T. Alkaly – Correspondent at Large.  He served as my Sacagawea while researching the NY book and wrote half of the Williamsburg & Greenpoint chapter.

Every time Paul walks into Palace Fried Chicken, Abdul, the guy behind the counter, says loudly in his Afghani accent, “MEEESTER CHEEEESE-FRIES!” It happens to be an almost daily ritual since Paul eating here is an almost daily occurrence. This is quite understandable because a) it’s incredibly cheap b) it’s pretty damn good and c) Paul lives virtually next door. But it might be more than that too; Paul and Abdul seem to have a special relationship. For example when Abdul told Paul that it had been “seex months since I have push-push in de bush-bush,” the two of them agreed that if Paul got Abdul laid, he’d get free Palace Fried Chicken for the rest of his life. So Paul spent the next month trying to pimp out his female roommate. He began slyly by asking questions like, “So, what do you think about Abdul over at Palace Fried Chicken? You know the guy with the mustache who always stares at you? He’s pretty dreamy right?” and when that didn’t work, he tried the direct approach of, “Come on! Just fuck him once. We’re talking about free Palace Fried Chicken for the rest of our lives!!” Needless to say, she moved out shortly afterwards.

Another time Abdul asked Paul to look at a website for him to help him figure out why he wasn’t allowed to go back to Afghanistan to visit his family. So Paul took the information, went home, checked out the website, and entered the ID number Abdul had given him. Apparently Abdul wasn’t allowed to leave the country because our government was concerned about his reasons for wanting to visit Afghanistan. Luckily though, Paul was able help Abdul get his trip home okayed by the state department because everybody knows it’s pretty hard to get some “push-push in the bush-bush” if the US government thinks you’re a “threat”. Girls just don’t really dig that sort of thing.

Palace Fried Chicken
Manhattan Ave @ Nassau
Greenpoint, Brooklyn

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".