AdviceEat & Drink

Cheap-ass Prevention: Restaurant Advice

Updated: Aug 30, 2011 07:35
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I don’t mean to make this an angry rant…buuuuuuuuuut….

One of my table I served tonight at work gave me $110 on a $107.09 tab…that’s 3.65percent tip! It took all of my willpower not to throw the money back at them, or snap a sarcastic remark about them needing the $2.91 tip more than I did (think Justin Long in the 2005 film “Waiting” starring Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris.) Oh boy…

Anyways, earlier I wrote a post about the difference between broke-asses and cheap-asses. Now, let’s make this clear…If you cannot afford to tip, than you either a) should not be eating out, period or b) shouldn’t have ordered so much damn food/drinks. It’s just that simple. So, when following the classifications and details provided in broke-asses v. cheap-asses post, that damn table from last night would be considered cheap-asses- definitely.

And I get it, sometimes it’s easy to overlook the situation, and a lot of people just don’t realize or understand the situation. As a server who has been serving in this particular restaurant for a few years now (…ugh, that reminds me- I need a new job…) I have witnessed some of the most absurd people and situations. I have seen cheap-asses like never before, complaining about everything and anything just to get some FREE food and drinks, complaining just because they know they can get away with it. I reaaally do not encourage this behavior.

Please, do everyone a favor and don’t be a cheap-ass; study the following advice, which may save your life if you ever end up somewhere like Shenanigan’s where servers just stop giving a crap about customer service.

1. Your server is a human being, too. They are not your slave and have real feelings, so please do not treat them as a) a child, b) a slave, c) a mentally handicapped person, and d) “below” you.

2. Do you seriously think that you can substitute something so minimal to your meal for a much-larger and more expensive side order. I mean, cummon….really? Baked potato instead of those five peas?

3. Also, pleaaaase don’t eat practically the entire dish (from half to the whole thing) and then claim that you “didn’t like it” and “would like something else instead.” And you really assume to eat it for FREE? That’s just absurd.

4. How about just don’t go out to eat if you are in a bad mood. It’s not a pleasant experience for anyone, so why bother?

5. Be a parent, watch your children. Servers are often carrying heavy, hot plates, while bussers are overwhelmed with plates stacked to their chin. Restaurants would like to avoid serious accidents at all costs, so please do not let your children run around all over the restaurant. It’s just not smart and just not safe.

6. Although many servers would disagree, tipping is completely your choice. Tip according to your given service, but please keep in mind the server’s other duties. Most likely you are not the only table they are serving, so be wary that they may have been triple-sat or have another very needy table. If you’ve been there a long time (multiple hours), maybe shell out a few extra bucks; in the time you told your life story to your friend you hadn’t seen in five years, they could have turned the table, twice! Keep all of this in mind when you tip. But just know what you are doing when you stiff them. Be very sure about leaving them nothing.

7. When you tip, also keep in mind that tips are often shared among other people on the restaurant staff- bartenders, bussers, expeditors, food runners, and sometimes hostesses. Just think about all of the elements of your experience, not just your server, because when you’re leaving your server a shitty tip, you’re hurting all those other people as well.

8, Errors in your order are not always your server’s fault. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it isn’t. It’s okay to be upset, just understand that many people contribute to your restaurant experience.

9.Why do you go to a sit-down restaurant if you “are in a rush?” It just doesn’t make sense to order a New York Steak, well-done. Cooking takes time and you are not the only guest in the restaurant ordering food. Be smart when you’re in a rush.

10. Cheap is never attractive. Servers are often forced to pay for your bill on walk-out tables. Is it really that big of a thrill to leave without paying? Or are you just THAT cheap?


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Paulette Greenhouse - The Penny Pincher

Paulette Greenhouse - The Penny Pincher

Paulette Greenhouse is a journalist and graphic designer, obsessed with her beloved pet hedgehog, Lisa Pickles. Seriously, she can talk about that prickly little princess for days! Paulette enjoys fashion, music, and art (cool points are gained if DIY). Although she tells outsiders that she lives in San Francisco, Paulette actually lives in nearby Pacifica because she can't afford to be that cool. The truth is she hates money and believes that it is source of many major problems in the world. But since society has made money so damn important for adequate survival, she slaves away at a lame local corporate restaurant, receiving crappy tips from people even cheaper than she is. (damn!) But above all, Paulette believes in giving exact change– it's a way of life!