I love you, but baby I’m BROKE!!!
Ahhh, to be in love… Such a beautiful thing, that is unless of course you are a broke-ass. That just adds so many complications to an already difficult though enjoyable venture. So the question is how do you navigate the mazes of the heart with an empty wallet? Do you date laterally? Do you try to find someone to get you out of your state of brokeness? What’s a broke-ass in love to do?
If you are fortunate to find Mr. or Mrs. Right, that’s a beautiful thing and congratulations. However, being low on dough can impact your relationship. Let’s say for example you decide to date a fellow broke-ass. You are limited in the things that you can do with and for that person. It really takes some creativity to date on the cheap. What do you do on dates? Well, there are a ton of FREE activities that you could do with your boo such as a trip to the beach, cooking dinner at home, or taking a long walk. What about special occasions like birthdays, holidays, etc? The best thing to do is to be honest about your situation. Talk to your partner about gift expectations, spending limits, etc. This avoids that awkward “I bought you an Xbox and all your cheap ass bought me was a damn t-shirt” situation.
How about going to that famed “next level” and you want to move in with your fellow broke-ass? The money discussion needs to happen before either of you start packing to move. It needs to be brutally honest and you should consider drafting a budget as well as telling your partner about any “debt skeletons” you may have. Not telling your partner that you have bill collectors blowing up your phone is like forgetting to mention that you have a crazy stalker ex. Especially if you have serious debts (all debts are serious, but we are talking about the “we will take everything you own short of your first born child to get our money”) like tax debts. Consider this horrible scenario, you and your love have a joint checking account and are scraping your pennies together then whamo! the IRS seizes that account and now you are even more broke and have a pissed off lover on your hands.
Now lets talk about the “final frontier,” aka marriage. So you want to legally attach yourself to the broke-ass of your dreams, how cute. However, this needs serious consideration as you will be responsible for some of the debts, etc. that your partner has. Another giant factor to consider is if one or both of you have children. Those sweet little cherubs can put a serious dent in your wallet. You need to find out how much of your own money you will have to shell out to help pay for your kids’ or your partner’s kids’ expenses and if you will be getting any outside help (i.e child support).
What if you are fortunate enough to “marry up” and find yourself a Mr. or Mrs. Right who has puffy pockets? Well, you hit the jackpot, but that doesn’t mean you are off the hook or that it’s okay to mooch off of your mate. It’s important that you still maintain some financial independence and even more important that you tell Mr./Mrs. Money Bags your situation (preferably before you walk down the aisle). Starting off a new marriage is difficult enough, you really don’t want to complicate things with your money problems.
Love is a beautiful thing, but broke-asses need to approach it with extreme caution. Tons of couples fight and even divorce over money woes. Don’t doom your relationship before it even starts. Keep the conversation open, regardless of how bad it may be.
Photo Credit: ScrapeTV