Cheap-Ass Breakfast Drinks
This weekend I have a few friends visiting from San Diego. I woke up this morning to people passed out all over my apartment, and the fog outside made us want to pretty much kill ourselves. We decided to cure our hangovers with some daytime drinking. Bloody Mary’s were out of the question because we didn’t have the right ingredients. Since all of us are pretty broke, we decided to have a contest of who could come up with the cheapest breakfast drinks. Here is what we came up with:
Obviously, this is nothing out of the ordinary but always a good solution. If we had enough money, we would all go down to some douchy place in the Marina and order Bottomless Mimosas. Usually, if you pay $10 you can sit and drink never-ending goblets of Cook’s and orange juice from concentrate and piss off all of the customers waiting in line to actually eat breakfast. Eating is not the main priority when you can polish off 10 mimosas whilst in a public place. Just don’t fall down when you try to get up.
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Kansas City Mimosas
I’ve never been to Kansas CIty, but I heard it’s pretty much like a white, gangster cowboy town (no offense Danielle and Drew). Anyways, this is the cutest spin I’ve heard of on a mimomsa. Get this – it’s Hamm’s beer and an Emergen-C packet mixed together in a glass. I know it sounds gross, but honestly – it’s not that bad and can even be considered nutritious too!
This sounds a bit racist, but come on it’s way better than a White Russian. Take the cheapest Vodka you can find, some Kahlua and mix in some Horchata. The powdered kind is both the cheapest and the best, because you get that little gritty feeling on your teeth that makes you feel really classy.
The Dirty Ashtray
This is a spin off a Michelada, but it turns out to be even cheaper because you don’t need tomato juice if you have a bottle of Tapatio on hand. And, since I just bought a bottle of that recently, I know it only costs 89 cents. So anyways, find an old Tecate beer in your fridge from the party last weekend and shake it up real good. Then squeeze some lime all over the top of the can. Add a tiny bit of salt, and some pepper. Throw on a dash of Tapatio and open the can. It won’t overflow because the lime somehow cuts the alcohol and then the whole thing just looks like a dirty ashtray. But somehow, it is surprisingly tasty.
The Breakfast Shot
This one is probably the priciest of the lot, but it sure is damn good. It’s Jameson, Butterscotch Snchapps, Maple Syrup shaken together and poured into a shot glass. Put a piece of bacon on top of it. Eat the bacon, pound the shot and chase it with some o.j. That’s what I call a complete breakfast!