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When Halloween Falls on a Monday…

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Last time Halloween fell on a Monday was in 2005.  San Francisco is a town that likes to run through the streets in costume, so Halloween was pretty much from Thursday to Monday.  I fear it will be the same this year.  This is what I ended up writing at the culmination of it all in 2005:

Nobody Prepared Me for This Type of Thing

It’s too much, and I’m untrained. Or maybe it’s just that I haven’t been trained enough. Halloween has been too long and too hard for this soul to take. I’ve spent the past few days feeling like I’d been dragged through the pre-dawn streets by Dionysus himself; battered and broken, trying to shake the smell of other people’s cigarettes and my own wanton ambition. I am damaged goods, I know. Holy fuck this is rough.

What does it mean if you’ve been wearing the same costume for four straight days? Is it still considered dressing up, or is it now just part of your wardrobe? Do you look becoming in your costume, or are you just becoming it? This has become a city of haunted heroes and broken bottles, lost causes and realized dreams. Nobody prepared me for this type of thing.

Tonight’s the night, though I fear that instead of arriving with a bang, Halloween might just be showing up with a timid door bell ring and a lame, “Sorry I’ve arrived at the party a little late, I hit bad traffic on the bridge.”

This it people, there’s no turning back now. It’s our last frenetic night of madness before the rainy months come and the fog swallows us whole. May all the gods of all the Pantheons of all the worlds, bless this sojourn.

All except for you Dionysus, you’re on my shit list.

(I guess what I’m trying to say is: Does anyone know anything going on tonight)

photo from smallsharpobjects.com

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website BrokeAssStuart.com is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, Geek.com and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.

1 Comment

  1. […] thing with Halloween falling on a Monday is that you can tire yourself out before you even get to the big day itself. If, like me, you are […]