Arts and CultureColumnsNew YorkSan FranciscoSex and DatingSlider

Dear Todd Akin: I Don’t Want You to Die but I Wouldn’t Really Care if You Did

Sign up for the best newsletter EVER!

“I think the underlying notion that we should be making decisions on behalf of women for their health care decisions, or qualifying forcible rape versus non-forcible rape, I think those are broader issues, and that is a significant difference in approach between me and the other party.” – Barack Obama

Like most women/people that I don’t want to punch in the face, when I first heard Todd Akin’s statement that “legitimate rape rarely causes pregnancy,” I wanted to run into a wall full speed ahead and stick my finger into an electrical socket. I was stunned and began grossly abusing my Twitter privileges, digitally screaming about the man who was talking about something that he would never experience, never understand, nor apparently, ever really care that much about. When he made his half-assed apology on Twitter, it was too late, and the world (minus a couple elderly, senile wannabe-Christians) already hated him. And I couldn’t be happier about that.

I rarely get pissed off at opposing viewpoints these days, as I love arguments, and arguing with informed people over coffee (wine) swaying them to jump to my side of the (hyper, unabashedly liberal) fence. With his words, Todd Akin had done something that I didn’t realize was possible to do, anymore – he totally offended me. And I’m not even the victim of a gang rape, or (much) sexual violence, and I’ve never gotten pregnant, or had to go through the humiliation of a rape kit, or testify against a sexual offender in front of a huge room of strangers by describing, in detail, everything that they did to me, in order to hopefully get some sort of justice and put the world at less of a risk by incarcerating them.

Let’s put aside statistics and science (because this is obviously an opinion post, guys) and talk about how rape is a totally, totally real thing, and there are crazy people out there who, for some odd reason (I guess to really bring the point home that abortion is a religious abomination), have been hesitant to acknowledge the gravity of the crime. I think this mainly has to do with their reluctance to accept change and progression, and the fact that Planned Parenthood is still a thing, and that sucks because all Planned Parenthood ever does is provide young sluts with abortions and our tax dollars are paying for it and they’re probably on welfare anyway and they hate my freedom. (LOL. )

Rape is really gross. It it a heart-breaking situation. No matter what party you’re affiliated with, let’s put it out there in plain, horrible English: No one should ever be allowed to fuck someone that doesn’t want to fuck them. And if they do commit this sort of horrendous crime, they should pay. Dearly. And any woman unfortunate enough to be a victim of rape should not have to suffer even more than she already will, for the rest of her life, producing an unplanned child who might be resented and perhaps put into foster care, where it may experience a less-than-stable upbringing, creating a human who may at some point be in need of social services and get screamed at and spat upon by the same people who insisted it was born in the first place.

I also want to acknowledge that many conservatives have come out against Akin, which is great, because come on, guys – this is a subject that goes way beyond political affiliations. It’s not just about abortion, and it’s not just about rape, and it’s not just about religion. It’s about public safety, and emotional damage, and being held accountable for attempting to drop knowledge about something that you have no knowledge of, nor ever will.

What do you think about Todd Akin’s comments, and the world’s reaction to them? Not harsh enough? Too harsh? Discuss.

Like this article? Make sure to sign up for our mailing list so you never miss a goddamn thing!
Previous post

American Splendor in Pacific Puffs...

Next post

FREE Wine Tastings at Bottlerocket in Greenwich Village


Chloe Newsom - Dive Bar Desperado

Chloe Newsom - Dive Bar Desperado

I like kittens, 40s, cupcakes, pizza, metal, thigh-highs, weekends, travelling, and parks. Lemmy is god. That's...that about covers it.