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Avoiding the Holiday Backslide

Updated: Nov 25, 2012 22:26
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The holidays are a time where people congregate to their hometowns, reminisce of days past and look for a cozy alternative to an electric blanket (or is that just me?). Feelings of romance resurface and we’re faced with the big decision: to backslide or not to backslide? In case you’re unfamiliar with the term, the backslide is when we fall back into our old patterns and rekindle a past flame- yes, usually one that is extremely unhealthy.

Just because you may have survived the night before Thanksgiving doesn’t mean you’re in the clear for the rest of the holiday season. There are many weeks ahead where you will be in danger of bumping into an ex or “accidentally” sending a text one lonely night. In case you have forgotten all of the terrible past memories, I’ll rehash some of the types you will want to avoid backsliding with.

The Ex You Can’t Take Anywhere

The holidays are a time of work parties and family gatherings. We all have that ex who awkwardly attended our work party or worse, embarrassed us thanks to their poor alcohol tolerance. Whether they sit in a corner and make us feel uncomfortable or are hitting on co-workers (or family members) in a stupor, December just isn’t a good time to reunite. They’re fine one-on-one, but bringing them out lead to arguments, hostility and resentment. How are you going to break it to them that you can’t bear the pain of having them accompany you to your holiday soirée? You deserve someone who you can take out in public.

The Serial Ex

You originally broke up several years back, but neither of you have ever really let it go. Since then you’ve gotten back together three, four, maybe even ten times. I have one of those. Every time you try to make things work, things fall apart quicker than they began. You make dinner plans but turn around half way to the restaurant because you can’t even stand being in the car together. Yet, for some insane reason, you continue to think about each other and continue to talk despite your relationship being a mess. Sometimes people grow up and let go of past grudges… but, usually, old habits die hard.

The Infidelity Ex

No matter who cheated on who, reuniting with an ex after lies and pain is never a smart move. Obviously one of you wanted a little something extra on the side, so the question is: what has changed? Is this person truly enough? I don’t necessarily believe that “once a cheater, always a cheater,” but I do believe in grudges and trust issues. They may just be after their sweet revenge.

The Clingy Ex

It has been years since you’ve seen this person, and they look so good that you completely forget about their jealous streak and neuroses.  A casual hookup with this ex is completely risky and probably the worst backslide of them all. If confrontation, mass text messages, name calling and unnecessary drama interest you- by all means, give this one a go. I know from experience that clingy and irrational ex boyfriends are people I want to stay FAR away from.

All In the Family Ex

Be careful of past relationships that ended badly for both you and the family involved.  Break ups are the worst when you also break up with parents, brothers and sisters. I’ve also learned that you can’t stay with someone just because you like their family. Not only does your ex hate you, but their whole family might too. Tread lightly with this one. You may have won their heart back, but there’s a whole group of people who you’re yet to win over. I let things go pretty quick, but my family? They never let me forget how miserable I was with this person.

Good luck this holiday season, friends. No matter how lonely, cold, or sex-deprived you are, just remember: getting back together with an ex is never, ever worth it. Like, ever. Also, be grateful your ex isn’t Taylor Swift.

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Kristin Fehrman - Diva of Deals

Kristin Fehrman - Diva of Deals

A Midwest born serial city hopper with a pesky shopping habit, I strive to live the good life. It's all worth finagling and the hustle as long as I can enjoy awesome restaurants, travel to new places and fill my closet.