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BA of the Week: Professional House Bitch Elliot James Byrnes

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Every week we feature a different person from the community shedding a little light on their life of brokeitude. Who knows, maybe you’ll learn something about the human spirit — probably not.

Wanna be a Broke-Ass of the Week? Holler at us here and we’ll send you the questionnaire.


Elliot wrote me saying that he’s been laid off for a year and a half and has now become a legit broke-ass. Well, welcome to the club my friend! While his answers are short some are pretty funny. Plus, he’s the first “house bitch” we’ve ever had as Broke-Ass of the Week. Read below for what Elliot has to say.

Name: Elliot James Byrnes

Age: 49

Occupation: House Bitch

What neighborhood do you live in?: The Mission

Best money saving tip: Spend other peoples money. Cheap beer and burritos.

What do you refuse to spend money on?: Small plate food.

Most expensive thing you’ve ever bought: A random box of sports collectibles on HSN.

How’d that feel?: Shitty when I sobered up.

Favorite cheap eat: Bahn Mi from Duc Loi.

Favorite dive bar: 21 Club on Turk and Taylor.

Best deal you’ve ever gotten: Convincing my wife to marry me.

If you woke up a millionaire, what’s the first thing you’d buy?: New friends.

Despite not having money, do you still love your life?: Hell yes, I have an awesome wife, amazing daughter and a kick ass grandson.

Do you own my book?: If you give me one I will.

Best hangover cure: A 16oz. Old Style and a shot of VO from Jeff at The 500.

Are you a hipster?: What is hip?

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle, "an SF cult hero":SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.

1 Comment

  1. ObserversDickIsAFatwa
    August 26, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    Who IS this guy?