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Why Are You Paying for a New iPhone?

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Really? After everything that went wrong with your last iPhone, you are seriously thinking about wasting money on another iPhone? “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results,” said Einstein. “But the new iPhone will have this, that and the other thing!” Okay, Toby. Shut the fuck up. It doesn’t matter what the new iPhone has or why the next iPad will be better than the last. Of course it will be better than the last, but what-the-fuck good will that do you? It’s still a shitty iProduct. When you buy a new iPhone or a new Ipad or a new iPad mini—or as I like to call it: The Large iPod Touch—you’re still buying the same shitty product and paying way too much for the same thing you just had…that already broke. Seriously, stop paying Apple for crap and demand some progression from their products.

In 2007, when Apple released the iPhone it was a neat idea. It wasn’t too crazy, but it was a start. In 2008, the iPhone was still impressive. Now, in 2013, it’s showing its age. Everywhere you look there are new smartphone options for the consumer, and the phone companies are always offering free smartphones. It is really as simple as 10 minutes of research into what you are looking for in a phone and finding it; the amount of excuses for getting a new iPhone are running low. See, there is nothing new or interesting anymore with the iPhones. They’re old. There isn’t much they could do that would make them actually new and interesting. If they really wanted to impress people they would have created a phone that can make it all the way through my two-year fucking contract.

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There are other options out there such as Samsung, Asus, and HTC that don’t make terrible phones. Then there are guys like this guy over here who have extremely interesting ideas on how to revolutionize the phone.

But you’re not convinced, are you? You still feel like you need to have what everyone around you has. You’re too scared to make your own informed decisions based on facts you learn through personal research, and the idea of breaking free and getting an Android product frightens and intimidates you. Fine. Do that. You’re only hurting yourself. Do you see those Android products you keep avoiding? Those are getting better than your iPhone, and cheaper.

I know I’m amusing myself by making fun of people still using iPhones, but in all seriousness, you need to stop using Apple products and try Android products. They are just as easy, if not easier, to use than your iPhone. If you go out of your comfort zone and give it a try, I promise you will be satisfied with the results and you will wonder why you ever kept buying a new iPhone.

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Kyle Polo - Penniless Freak Gamer

Kyle Polo - Penniless Freak Gamer

Broke nerd with no money for video games seeks refuge at parent's house post college, and with the Android Play Store having so many free games, at least he has something to keep him sane.


  1. September 13, 2013 at 5:07 pm

    Linkbaiting. How sad.

  2. jesse james
    September 13, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    I’m currently using my friend’s old iPhone (I drop kicked my old Android into a toilet). The phone is three years old and still doing rather well. Everything works except for some spotty reception, but I have T-Mobile, so that’s expected.

    Guess my problem with this article (op-ed? rant?) is that it just comes across as a guy whose phone broke bitching about how shitty his broken phone was. “They suck” and “You’re stupid if you want one” isn’t exactly an argument that’s winning me over.

    A few things:

    1.) My old Android phone was “the worst.” I’m sure they’ve gotten better (technology tends to do that. weird). Programs crashed all the time. Phone would just turn itself off. Twice to three times a day I’d have to remove the battery and force a restart. I had a bad experience with an Android phone! Everyone is stupid if they buy Android! You’re all idiots! Whoa.. got caught up in the spirit of the article there.

    2.) A lot of my friends have fully functioning iPhone’s and they’re putting them down to run out and buy the new model. That blows my mind, makes me sad for America and is a testament to Apple’s marketing team. There might be an interesting article there…

    3.) That phoneblok website mixes up “there” and “their” and that also makes me sad.

    4.) Does this guy work for Android, cause it’s also mentioned in his author blurb.

    So, I guess, yeah… that’s all.

  3. Kyle Polo
    September 13, 2013 at 8:27 pm

    What I am is a pissed off person who is tired of companies like Apple and Microsoft over charging a population of idiots, who for some reason continue to purchase these terrible items because of the popularity of the phone and not actually looking into the products they are buying. Basically to sum everything up for you iPhone protecting fucks, I’m insulting the intelligence in the vast majority of the people who own iPhones.