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Dispatches From The Road, Puerto Vallarta: Pinning On Tail At Ándale

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Let’s just say, not “Mission” style.

From the minute I set foot in the Zona Romántica, I was directed by friends and strangers alike to partake in a cantina known as Ándale. Why exactly is hard to tell, as that the establishment is clearly marketed towards women of a certain age and I, well, like dick.

I guess Ándale is best described as “cougar” bar. Which also happens to be the actual name of the place next door. In retrospect, the entire block might very well  be a cougar district- a sort of a ground zero for golden saucepots, and their admirers, older and younger alike. And believe me there ain’t no judgement from this viejoto– these women can handle a man no matter what the age, which is more than I can say for myself.

Ándale runs at a fever pitch on the weekends, but you can catch the gals tottering around their quarry in nine-inch stilettos 7 days a week. It’s a one-stop-shop for well-seasoned love connections, 2×1 post-beach happy hours and watching rucas bust out their best to I Was Made For Lovin’ You while strapped into leather hot pants, or if you’re lucky, riding a burro. Just be forewarned that after a certain hour, that zesty Shirley Valentine vibe dissolves into something more akin to The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone dipped in Bain de Soleil. But then again, so does SF’s Union Street.


Olas Altas 425
[Zona Romántica/ Olas Altas]
Puerto Vallarta

Photo from TripAdvisor.


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Stephen Torres - Threadbare-Fact Finder (Editor, San Francisco)

Stephen Torres - Threadbare-Fact Finder (Editor, San Francisco)

Stephen's early years were spent in a boxcar overlooking downtown Los Angeles. From there he moved around the state with his family before settling under the warm blanket of smog that covers suburban Southern California. Moving around led to his inability to stay in one place for very long, but San Francisco has been reeling him back in with its siren song since 1999.
By trade he pours booze, but likes to think he can write and does so occasionally for the SF Bay Guardian, Bold Italic and 7x7. He also likes to enjoy time spent in old eateries, bars and businesses that, by most standards, would have been condemned a long time ago.