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6 Things That Would Happen on the Modern Day Re-Boot of Friends

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Yes, broke asses, your childhood is becoming more and more of a distant memory. A new television season is in full swing. It is fall season right now, and as we celebrate new and returning shows, like Gothamand all of its intimidating posters splattered across all of ManhattanFriends became 20 years old.

The kooky, yet beloved comedy featured a group of 20-somethings living in the West Village who were struggling with a plethora of fun90’s-style first world problems including work, dating, family dynamics and not having one single black friend. I couldn’t help but wonder what a reboot of this timeless and whitewashed series would look like in today’s New York. Let’s take a look.

It Would Take Place in Washington Heights or Harlem

I did some number crunching, and the average salary of our Friends in 2014 couldn’t afford to pay for anything below 138th street.

Rachel Wouldn’t Be able to Afford Anything…
At least not until she worked at Ralph Lauren. She probably would have just married for money, like in that weird alternate-universe episode, but that would deny us years and years of worshipping her hair.

Joey Wouldn’t Be able to Afford Anything…Ever
A struggling actor living in the West Village today would have to be one helluva gay-for-pay prostitute.

Phoebe Would Ditch Them All to Live in Bushwick.
phoebe meme
Bar none, the most creative Friend of the bunch, she had no business with those uptight, stuffy, first-world whiners.

The Cast Would Still Be White as All Hell

Black people definitely do not have any of these problems, and my Latino friends don’t seem to have those struggles, either. But due to the wonders of the internet and an inevitable Twitter outcry, the executive producers would be legally obligated to cast one series regular of color and one series regular who is gay. They will likely kill two birds with one stone. I could see the episode now: “The One Where Joey Finds Out He’s Part Dominican and Shoots a Gay Porn.”

There Would Be Far Less Dating Because Dating is So Expensive
I have very few friends who serial date. People would rather spend that money on concerts and boozesomething more of a guarantee! Plus we have Tinder now, so screw dating.

Photo Credit: Freddie Cosmo

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