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PSA: Why Pills That Make Your Poop Glittery Are a Terrible Idea

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Take one with 8oz of water

You can buy anything on Etsy! For $9.90 (plus shipping + handling) you can get six pill capsules filled with glitter. Presumably they make your poop as colorful as a Lisa Frank folder. I can see it now, Burning Man art installations of rainbow dooky butter. Not sure why you would want to ingest a bunch of glitter. These days glitter is made of materials such as aluminium, titanium dioxide, iron oxide, and bismuth oxychloride….yummy!

Girl…what have you been putting in your mouth?!?!

Despite the posts saying that they give you shiny, glittery poop, it is merely a baloney secondary use for these glitter-filled plastic capsules. Their actual use is way less exciting.
People use them at clubs, festivals, bachelorette parties and any other place you can find a collection of sweaty bodies and loud music. They snap them open and rain the miniscule metal shards throughout the air, onto your clothes, friends, in your hair and in your drinks! Fun times and laughs are had by all! Except the people who were actually hit by the glitter money shot. Glitter is the herpes of the arts n’ crafts world…it re-appears when you least expect it and at the worst times.
24k gold leaf - actually edible

24k gold leaf – edible and will give your poop a golden glow

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Maybe you don’t want your poop to be mundane and just like everyone else’s. It is possible to put some glitz in your butt goo, just be ready to drop some bills. Gold Pills were part of an art installation called INDULGENCES at SFMOMA in 2007. They are for sale now via justanotherrichkid.com and will turn your poo gold…for $425 (plus shipping + handling.)

I know it sounds hilarious and worth the ten bucks but please don’t go on Etsy and buy Glitter Pills to make your poop shiny. You’ll end up with an intestinal infection, blockage and god knows what else that will undoubtedly be painful and require a visit to the ER. Though great for your instagram and facebook feed! #glitterybloodyanus
This has been a public service announcement.
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Jay H - Bawdy Broadcaster

Jay H - Bawdy Broadcaster

Bay Area native. Oldest girl in a very large extended Mexican family. Studied Art History at UC Berkeley and of course I became a Nonprofit Marketing Consultant! Never married. No kids. Serial dater and and expert at the 'hang out' version of dating. Moved out of crazy expensive SF to Oakland and LOVING it! Loves sports. All of them. Except golf. Oh, and rhythmic gymnastics.

2 Comments

  1. December 5, 2014 at 9:58 am

    I made my own and did THIS with them:
    http://www.touchedbyfire.co/portfolio/sunny-crittenden/

  2. December 5, 2014 at 9:58 am

    And I have many more things planned for them…