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A Man & His Bidet: A Coming of Age Story

Updated: Jan 20, 2016 13:04
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This post is sponsored by the fine folks at Brondell.  The San Francisco company that makes the best bidets in the business.


This is a tale of love, betrayal and ultimate glory.  Our (not-so) young, but certainly broke and beautiful Knight, Sir Stuart, embarks on a journey to discover himself through one of the oldest and most ubiquitous traditions mankind has partaken in since the dawn of time.  Pooping…yes we’re talking about pooping.

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Stuart found what he had been searching for perhaps his whole life, a glistening chalice of love and light.  It filled his heart with hope and gave his bathroom a glimpse of a better tomorrow.  After all, his backside would never be dirty for long again…the bidet seat has temperature controlled water jets that target your…problem areas


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Stuart labored on his knees to install the new throne.  Sweating, aching, sometimes looking towards the heavens and cursing the gods.  The 15 minutes it took to install the bidet nearly killed our hero, but he persevered.  Famished and nearly exhausted Stuart sat down to feast on the finest takeout lunch specials, and celebrate the glory that awaited him.

And when nature called, our hero was ready.  He rushed to take his place on his new throne.  Almost exactly like King Arthur pulling the sword from the stone, Stuart placed his backside on the bidet and…


He was transformed…

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yeah, this is what sophistication looks like


With Brondell, you may live like a Broke-Ass, but you’ll poop like a King.

Broke-Ass readers get a 10% discount on all Brondell Bidets, use the code:  ‘BROKEASS’
Click Here to check out their products


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Alex Mak - Managing Editor

Alex Mak - Managing Editor

I'm the managing editor here at Broke-Ass Stuart. I enjoy covering Bay Area News as well as writing about Arts, Culture & Nightlife.

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  1. Crystal Vielula
    Alex Mak
    July 16, 2015 at 10:36 am

    A year ago, I never could have imagined myself standing in a bathtub taking pictures of a man on a toilet wearing a tuxedo…but things change…a man adapts…that is all

    • Bay City News
      Broke-Ass Stuart
      July 16, 2015 at 11:30 am

      I feel pretty good about this.