Dreamforce 2015: Islands Of Cool Free Sh*t In An Ocean Of Douche
You can do the Dreamforce conference for free the rest of the week. Thursday and Friday are the “free days” where broke shlubs can get in for free with a simple free Dreamforce registration. This entitles you to free classes, free keynote sessions and your run of the Expo Floor. The coffee is free all day, you can also get free booze and food if you stay til 6 p.m., or at that point just head to one of the free Dreamforce parties and clean upon cocktails and hors d’oeuvres. Let’s take a look at the good, the bad and the douchey of what you’ll encounter at Dreamforce.
THE GOOD: FREE CLASSES AND KEYNOTES
There is a constant stream of free tech classes taking place all over the Dreamforce Expo Floor all day Thursday and Friday. There are also a ton of free keynote speeches including the 5 p.m. Thursday Women’s Leadership Keynote with YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki and… Jessica Alba? The full schedule of keynotes comes in the confirmation email for your free Dreamforce pass registration.
THE BAD: LOOK AT THIS FUCKING TRAFFIC
THE DOUCHEY: DUDEBROS IN STARTUP SHIRTS
THE GOOD: FREE COFFEE
THE BAD: INSUFFERABLE CORPORATE LINGO
Some asshole actually got paid to come up with the above phrase, which comes to us courtesy the Dreamforce booth for Blue Wolf, the company that put illegal marketing graffiti on the sidewalks and then lied about it.
THE DOUCHEY: ‘SMART BALANCE WHEELS’
THE GOOD: FREE BOOZE AND FOOD
There are of course the free Dreamforce parties on Thursday night (RSVPs are required). Your free Expo Floor pass technically expires at 4 p.m., but if you stay on the Expo Floor til 6 p.m. on Thursday there will be free food and booze served. Just make sure you don’t leave between 4-6 p.m. because you won’t be able to get back in on a free Expo Pass.
THE BAD: ROBOT IPAD HUMANS
This poor woman was not allowed to attend Dreamforce, but instead has to sit at her desk and answer Dreamforce people’s questions. This says something terrible about the future of American employment, though I am not yet sure what.
THE DOUCHEY: BRANDED FUCKING EVERYTHING