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Man Captures Worst Ferry Ride Ever in Hilarious FB Updates

Updated: Nov 09, 2021 17:23
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My buddy Dan Koplowitz has a record label called Friendly Fire Recordings. Most of the bands he deals with are from Scandinavia so he’s always going to music festivals in the Nordic region. Over the weekend he took a ferry from Tallinn, Estonia to Helsinki, Finland. It was an absolute shit show and Dan kept us all hilariously updated with his Facebook posts. I choked from laughing so hard. Read below to see:

The “Lamb-Fucker”

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 9.28.33 AM

The Puke Fest

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 9.43.30 AM

The Rejected Proposal

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 9.44.57 AM

The Boxer

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 9.46.05 AM

The Terrible DJ

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 9.47.57 AM

The Arrest

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 9.49.45 AM

The Hieronymus Bosch

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 9.50.42 AM

The Buffet

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 9.52.19 AM

The Finale

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 9.53.47 AM

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Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle, "an SF cult hero":SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.


  1. Moshbeck
    April 5, 2016 at 2:16 am

    I think this story is full of *hit. It’s a funny story, I give you that, but most things never happened. I’ve been on these ferries myself in the past, and have many friends who regularly visit them, and anything like this has never happened. Sure, some people are drunk, but never like the story goes here.

    • Artivist
      November 3, 2016 at 10:37 pm

      Don’t be *that guy*. Some people think there needs to that guy, but there really doesn’t

  2. Talo Mees
    April 5, 2016 at 2:38 am

    Welcome to the Finland.
    it’s different..

  3. machig
    April 5, 2016 at 4:42 am

    It’s true. Once I saw man who was carried into the ferry with a trolley. He was so drunk. He collapsed on the floor like a huge whale. Two of his friends sat on the floor, leaned against him and went on drinking. One of them dropped alcohol on top of him. He never woke up. A little kid was shooting at him with his toy gun. It’s seriously hell.

    • Samira Peri
      April 5, 2016 at 11:40 am

      That’s why you don’t go on the weekend cruises unless you have to.

  4. April 5, 2016 at 7:42 am

    Interesting detail is that the Finnish government supports this sort of “culture” with millions of euros. Which keeps these “drunk ferries” much more profitable business for the shipowners as it would be without the support. Apparently this “get wasted like its the last day on Earth”-culture is important for the country, even more important than education. While the public funding of education is facing considerable cuts in Finland, the shipowners get even more financial support from the government. First things first, and priorities in order!

  5. akelo
    April 5, 2016 at 11:02 am

    Lots of people depend on these ferries for commuting, and you can bet they can sympathise with you at least to some extent. I take them from time to time because I love visiting Estonia. Have never had an experience as bad as yours, though. So, better luck next time!

  6. April 10, 2016 at 1:35 am

    Thanks for bringing up this topic, which us Finns know all too well still do nothing to change things. Did you know they call us “reindeer” over in Tallinn?