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10 Times Ted Cruz Looked Like He Just Sharted

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Ted Cruz is a perfect example of what’s wrong with America and nothing would make me happier than seeing Beto O’Rourke beat him and become a United States Senator. Why is Ted Cruz awful? Well here are some reasons, and here are some reasons, and here are some more reasons. It appears he’s always been awful though since his college roommate still hates him. The one thing I do like about Ted Cruz though his that he always looks like he accidentally just sharted.

For those who don’t know the term, a shart is when you think you’re farting but you actually shit your pants. This can be anywhere from just a little bit of poop making it out, to an entire, horrible, fecal disaster.

Regardless, Ted Cruz pretty much always looks like he just sharted. oh you don’t believe me? Well here are 10 glorious examples:

There was this time:

Ted Cruz sharted

image from Business Insider

And this time:

Ted Cruz sharted

image from the Atlantic

We can’t forget this time:

Ted Cruz sharted

image from NY Mag

This time was classic sharty-pants Ted Cruz:

Ted Cruz sharted

image from Broadly

We call this one the “did I do that?”:

Ted Cruz sharted

image from The New Yorker

This was the “he who smelt it, sharted it” look:

Ted Cruz sharted

image from NPR

This is the “Oh dear god, I thought I almost had it” look:

Ted Cruz sharted

image from youtube

We call this one the “not again”:

Ted Cruz sharted

image from Raw Story

This time was the “when will I ever learn?”:

Ted Cruz sharted

image from Mother Jones

And finally the time Ted’s face said what we were all thinking “Oh my god what is wrong with you Cruz?!?!”:

Ted Cruz sharted

image from politifact

Fuck you fuckwad. I really do hope you shart your pants often. And I hope that Beto beats your shitty pants off you.

Please Texas, don’t shart this one up.

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".