Advice

Dear Candace, Do I Tell Someone About My Other Dates and How Can I Stop Farting?

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Dear Candace,

In today’s modern dating world, while we’re in the undertow of the next wave of feminism, is it still a bad idea to let the guy you’re dating know about the other guy you’re dating?

Courtesy of psychicemily.com

Courtesy of psychicemily.com

The short answer: no.

If the basis of feminism is simply that women should have the same rights as men and vice versa, then you have every right to either tell your dudes or not tell your dudes anything. However, the moral problem is something that you have to weigh against what you’re willing to deal with. Here are the scenarios:

  1. You tell the guy and he’s cool with it. Great, A+, Gold Star conclusion.
  2. You tell the guy and he’s not so cool with it. Now you get to decide if you have to give up seeing someone. Or he decides to stop seeing you on his own. That’s also his right, but is definitely a bummer.
  3. You don’t tell him and he finds out later, feeling not so great about it. No one likes to be kept in the dark so it’s up to you and your knowledge of his personality how he’ll react.
  4. You don’t tell him and it never matters. This can also be a great situation though the fact that you’re asking this question leads me to think you do kind of want to tell him.

Generally speaking, it’s good to be transparent with people. It’s not a fun conversation to have but most people appreciate a gentle, “hey, I want to be clear with my intentions and tell you what’s happening” talk. I think you might agree that when you aren’t yourself around people, you aren’t giving them real information that’s affecting their lives. If the worst case scenario is that this person flies off the handle and tells you you’re a bad person whom he never wants to see again…you’re probably better off with just the other dude.

Anyway, you do you and take your own time to figure out how you want to live your life. Just remember that you’ve now intertwined part of your life with someone else’s and proceed from there.

Dear Candace,

My friend wants to know how to control his farting problem. Specifically when he is on the bus or inline at the grocery store. He’s an amazing person, but he farts, like all the time, like in the middle and at the end of conversations.

Courtesy of someecards.com

Courtesy of someecards.com

Check your diet, yo. According to HealthLiving.Today, these are the foods that cause people to bloat and get stinky:

  • The onion family, including onions, shallots, garlic and chives.
  • The cabbage family, including many types of cabbages, bok choy, Brussels sprouts, kale and cauliflower.
  • Dried and fresh beans, and peas, and lentils.
  • Whole grains, such as wheat, bulger, barley, and farro may cause gas and bloating.
  • Many people experience burping and gas when they eat peppers or cucumbers.
  • Carbonated and alcoholic beverages may cause gassiness.

So maybe start cutting down on your Eastern European Block cuisine? Otherwise, I’d go see a doctor because there is occasionally a more complicated problem, ie an infection or IBS.

Reminder, I am not a doctor. Also, I realize this is a joke question but hey! The people need to know about their gasses.

“Dear Candace” is a weekly advice column about people: meeting people, talking to people, dating people, working with people, pretending to be people, etc. If you have a people problem you’d like Candace to help you solve, send your questions to candace@brokeassstuart.com or follow Broke-Ass Stuart’s tumblr to “ask me anything”. Disclaimer: Candace is mostly just a know-it-all.

 

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Candace Cui - Actual Unicorn

Candace Cui - Actual Unicorn

At age 2, I was getting run over by a bike in an alley in China. At age 8, I was avoiding man-o-wars on Tybee Island. At age 14, I was overdrinking sweet tea while running through the woods barefoot. At age 20, I was learning Art History and how to drop it low. At age 25, I was making fun of drum circles at Dolores. At every age, I am charming the fuck out of you. Just wait, it'll happen.