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The Perfect Day in San Francisco

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fernet

All photos by Molly DeCoudreaux

What makes San Francisco so enchanting is that sometimes, just by walking down the street, you can fall into incredible things. Sometimes just by saying “yes” magic happens, and a regular day becomes an incredible one. Every once in awhile though, all the right pieces fall into place and a perfect day happens. This my friends, was a perfect day:

Like so many epic adventures, the afternoon started out with a little day drinking. There was a block party going down in The Mission so I went over to meet up with Keyatta and Tony. Like half the city, they were obsessing about Pokemon Go. I had to remind them we were at a party.

keyatta-and-tony

The party was popping! DJs were spinning house music and ravers of all ages were dancing and grooving to beats. At one point I looked over and Fan-Pei and Brooke were dancing right near us. It was a little of that San Francisco magic. Just a couple days before I had being thinking that I hadn’t run into either of them for awhile and boom! there they were. How else do you celebrate this kind of San Francisco serendipity? With shots of Fernet-Branca of course.

block-party-shots

Tony Snapped his shot as he seems to do with everything, He swore he’d explain Snapchat to me. He still hasn’t.

tony selfie

After awhile the really wasted rave kids began to get annoying and we started getting hungry, so we figured it was time to dip. Walking out, we ran into Angella who told us her friend at Tosca would take good care of us if we were interested. With a unanimous “DUH!” we hopped in a couple rides and headed to North Beach.

car selfie

While I do miss the funky old dive bar that Tosca used to be, I’m glad they kept the nearly 100 year old spot beautifully intact. It’s such a wonderful part of The City.

Since we’d already been drinking for awhile and had a couple shots, someone decided that we needed more. There’s always one asshole in a group who instigates this kind of thing.

pouring fernet

And that’s when things started to get a little crazy.

I was able to convince the Tosca folks to let us into their super secret room. Apparently it’s where Jay-Z eats when he’s in town. I still have no idea why they let us in there, but don’t we look awesome?

secret room

At this point, we were feeling damn good, so I suggested we hit up Vesuvio because its fucking amazing. We walked across Columbus, taking in all that is North Beach on our way to one of the best bars in the world. Vesuvio never disappoints – how could you not love a bar so tied to the Beat Movement, literature, and weird bohemian artists? Not that we could’ve really been able to be disappointed in the state we were in anyways.

vesuvio3

A few more beers and a few more shots of Fernet-Branca and it was time to get weird. I garbled, “Let’s go to motherfucking Bow Bow Lounge” and everyone agreed. So we filed out the door. For some reason Keyatta produced a flask, to help fortify us for the half block walk over. It was completely unnecessary, yet that’s never stopped me before.

flask

But what did stop us was that Brooke managed to talk a street busker into letting her play his guitar. I was hoping she’d play some Nirvana to match her flannel (I’m pretty sure we all chanted “Nirvana! Nirvana!) but she played something like Kumbaya.

brooke

Ah yes Bow Bow Lounge. The fantasy land where Mama Candy runs a tight ship full of complete nutters letting loose. It’s where karaoke dreams are made…or rather broken. If it’s not getting weird in Bow Bow Lounge, you’re doing it wrong.

That night we were doing it right though and Mama Candy even partied with us. We were singing and laughing and dancing to the tunes and having the kind of time that makes your face hurt from smiling.

mama candy

As the night was winding down, there was only one more thing that could make it even more perfect. Some Golden Boy Pizza! So we scurried over there and fed our faces. I can’t imagine how many lives have been saved, and how many unwanted pregnancies have been stopped, by Golden Boy.

goldenboy

And then this happened.

Stuart-boobs

I guess there’s no better way to end a perfect day than stripping down half naked at Broadway and Columbus.

Cheers to a perfect day.

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".

4 Comments

  1. John
    August 11, 2016 at 2:19 pm

    Is this a parody of the hipster lifestyle?

    • scum
      August 11, 2016 at 3:03 pm

      Sadly no, it’s how the young and self important live.

    • Ponce de Leon
      August 12, 2016 at 2:13 pm

      No, it’s a Fernet ad cleverly disguised as a bunch of trendy alcoholics having a night on the town.

  2. Josh Goldberger
    August 12, 2016 at 2:37 pm

    Oh Stuart – I guess if they were buying the shots it doesn’t count as selling out… at least there was a prominent banner at the top warning me. Brings back foggy/fond memories of the Fernet-sponsored happy hours at 111 Minna back in the day. Which is where I first encountered the SFP posse. So, good for you hombrero!