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The Best Craigslist Missed Connections From Burning Man 2016

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BMMC1

Image: Vito Fun via Flickr

Many people who went to Burning Man did not get to have sex with the people they encountered at Burning Man. These are their stories. As the Burners return and undustify themselves, those who were eluded by love turn to Craigslist Missed Connections, a 2003-era relic intended to hook up star-crossed lovers before there were hook up apps. It worked successfully on, oh, about .00001% of its users’ attempts. But it still exists, it always fills up with Burning Man posts in the days following Labor Day, and these are the funniest Craigslist Burning Man Missed Connection posts of this year.

pineapples

TO THE WOMAN WHO TOSSED PINEAPPLES (DISTRIKT) – M4W

Dancing on the stage at Distrikt, tossing pineapples back and forth with the crowd, we killed it.

Going out on a limb to connect in real life. If you don’t know who you are yet, you were with a friend in a blue wig and blue tutu.

BMMC3

Image: Vito Fun via Flickr

BURNING MAN: ROB W THE VOICE FROM BOSTON VIA NEW JERSEY VIA GREENPOINT – W4M

You took care of me when I was sick and I never got to properly thank you.
Your voice drew me in, with funny, sweet stories about your travels and your Polish parents. Even though I got sick it was an amazing trip because it brought me to you. You saved me and I wanted to explore the playa and you – but I was too out of it to articulate my true intentions. You’re nonjudgmental, kind, with an open mind and hot…well you know – you’re a SMF. I’ll be in San Francisco next month or if you’re still traveling come to Seattle and crash with me. I may have what you’ve been looking for and there is plenty of Metal in town.

Yours truly,
Oddy

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Image: Vito Fun via Flickr

TIBETAN SINGING BOWLS, BURNING MAN TEMPLE -M4W

I gave you a tibetan singing bowl session, you – girl from Palo Alto with beautiful eyes, at the Temple BM 2016 Saturday afernoon
You said I “put you under”
I was distracted by so many things going on at the time and I could not remember your name, but you said you work with at risk youth and deliver energy healing in Palo Alto, you also mentioned you just bought your first bowl set. I just wanted to make friends.
Patrick from San Diego

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Image: Vito Fun via Flickr

WHO ARE THE SNAIL CROSSING PEOPLE? – M4WW

Who are the snail crossing people from the 3:00 side? I would love to join your snail crossing endeavors next year!

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Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura is a two-bit marketing writer who excels at the homoerotic double-entendre. He is training to run a full marathon completely drunk and high, and his work has appeared in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal on days when their editors made particularly curious decisions.