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How to Shut Down Cat Callers This Summer, Without Losing Your Cool

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Temperatures and hemlines are rising — which means it’s catcalling season.

Via Cosmo

Days are longer, and tempers are shorter. Instead of taking all that frustration out on your loved ones, unload on someone that deserves it – like men who make women uncomfortable in public. If you’re a woman over thirteen you’ve already learned to tune out the stuff men say to you in public. But occasionally some prick will say (or do) something that has to be checked, if not for you, than for the country.

Ladies, Trump is president, this is war.

The best way to efficiently move on with your day is to invest in a good set of headphones and not make eye contact. Whether you actually can’t hear the disgusting/insulting/annoying things creeps say to women walking alone, or you’re just pretending to, it’s a classic tactic that works.

Daily life in the city. This website talks more about the earbud tactic

If a man physically touches or blocks you from walking, he needs to be stopped. I’ve been groped, had my headphones pulled out, been followed and done the sidewalk shuffle with a few dim-witted shits. It’s blood boiling irritating, but you aren’t helpless.

If the guy is wearing a uniform or driving a company vehicle you can make him squirm like a guilty ten-year-old. Jobs with uniforms have corporate codes of conduct, managers who are terrified of getting sued, and a low wage disposable workforce. As a member of the public, you have more power than you realize. So, put on your best indignant and entitled attitude, take out your cell phone, and deliberately take a few pictures of the assailant and his vehicle.

You’ve already won because even if you don’t actually make a formal complaint, you’ve at least raised the possibility that you could get this jerk in trouble at work. So even if he doesn’t care how you feel, he’s forced to consider how his boss might see things. Read; unnecessary liability to the company brand. He may think twice before bothering some other woman while she’s just trying to get through her god-damned day.

It’s so satisfying to watch a grown man cower and hide his face because he knows he messed up.

Pic via this website

If the guy isn’t at work you have to make the moment more uncomfortable for him than for you. This requires some gumption and physical safety. Don’t try this move alone. Most violent men only hit women they know and “love,” but you never know. But if you’re in public, stop what you’re doing, make direct eye contact with the perpetrator and say something loud enough for those around you to hear.

My personal favorite is “You don’t have the BALLS to RAPE me.”

Most men crumble like wet cardboard, looking guilty and impotent. But be careful, daring a man to rape you does count as consent in at least eight states. Go forth ladies, don’t cower to the cowards trying to make you think twice before leaving the house.

Make them think twice before opening their filthy mouths.

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Kaytlin Bailey

Kaytlin Bailey

Kaytlin Bailey is a stand-up comic. You may have seen her on MTV's Braless, or heard her on SiriusXM radio. She writes for Vice and travels with the CAKE Comedy Tour.