Comedy

SF Woman is Completely Out of Hot Weather Clothes 4 days into Heat Wave

Sign up for the best newsletter EVER!

After several consecutive days of extremely hot weather in San Francisco, many SF residents are finding themselves completely out of warm weather outfits. “One or two hot days are fine, great even, but four days in a row!?”  Exclaimed SF resident Sara MacDougal, “The only clothing options I have left are shorts from college and a startup tanktop my ex-boyfriend left at my house in 2009.”

Cindy Kwan of Russian Hill had similar frustrations, “I am literally out of outfits that aren’t meant to be worn with tights.”  She continued,  “also, the only tank top I have left literally says, ‘This girl needs a beer,’ so its’ definitely not appropriate for work.”

Chad Smithers of Rincon Hill expressed his frustration with his lack of summer clothing.  “I’ve worn the same pair of cargo shorts for days now, because they’re the only pair of shorts I own, but the sweat stains are starting to really show, if this heat doesn’t stop soon I may have to move to Seattle.”

“I’m down to wearing a sarong to work now.”  Said Mitzy Russell.   “Two different coworkers asked me if there was a ‘luau party’ at lunch.  I didn’t have the strength to tell explain to them that sarongs are from Indonesia.”

Hold on San Francisco, the fog CAN’T be far away.

*This article and the interviews may be satire, but the struggle IS REAL.

Like this article? Make sure to sign up for our mailing list so you never miss a goddamn thing!
Previous post

Sunburns up 900% in San Franciso over Weekend

Next post

Taking a Page from Big Tobacco’s Book: States Are Challenging Opioid Manufacturers


Alex Mak - Managing Editor

Alex Mak - Managing Editor

I'm the managin' editor here at Broke-Ass Stuart. When we're not writing, editing, or publishing articles, Stuart and I are promoting the good things in SF & NYC.

If you're a writer, artist, or performer who would like to get your work seen by our audience, or if you're a cool business and would like us to introduce you to our 120k social followers in a creative and engaging way, contact me at alex@brokeassstuart.com.