15 Feb 2024

San Francisco Celebrates 20 Years of Heart Sculptures

Speaking of hearts a poundin’, I sauntered up to the bar, and wouldn’t you know, I bumped into my heart sculpture from 2022. Almost broke it. There it was surrounded by guests and leftover cocktails. My heart sure does get around. I had recently seen it at Neiman Marcus and APEC.

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07 Dec 2023

The Film Noir Game Full of Murder, Manipulation & Mayhem

As you could imagine, a typical shindig just wouldn’t cut it for our team here at Broke-Ass Stuart. This year, for our holiday party, we decided to spice it up by, you know, casually plotting each other’s demise. Okay, maybe not entirely kidding. We collaborated with The Racket, an immersive

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03 Aug 2023

Move over Barbie. There’s a New Doll in Town and she’s gotta Knife.

Lil’ Schatzie lived on top of the Deli counter for many years, smiling and greeting customers daily. Her bloody apron covered her pink sparkly evening gown, and with her white silky meat-stained evening gloves, she held that knife of hers up proud and high, even though she had a chunk ‘o Headcheese dangling from her stiletto heel below. No one noticed the tiny tear trickling down her cheek.

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13 Jul 2023

I Left My Heart and My Running Shoes in San Francisco

I was out for a run along the Bay Trail. I looked up into the blue sky. A Turkey Vulture with black silent wings was floating close to me on the wind. I looked below my running feet next to the green San Francisco sea. A Bat Ray emerged. The

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18 May 2023

The Tale of San Francisco’s Infamous Pirate Statue…Aaargh!

He has two hand hooks, two swords, two parrots on either shoulder, and two peg-legs. He wears two eye patches but I know he can see me, and his two ears can hear my soft whispers, and the swinging jazz music across the way on JFK Drive.

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50% off New Glasses + Free Shipping!

We wrote about the 6 rad reasons why shopping for glasses on GlassesUSA.com will change the way you buy glasses forever. You can read about that here. But here's the important part: YOU GET 50% OFF + free shipping on your first pair of frames. Click to find out more!

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap
04 May 2023

“Please Stand Clear of the Doors” My Long Love Affair with BART

I dash across the landing and just like an Olympic high jumper, I hurl myself, and my giant protruding pregnant belly high up in the air and leap over the head and body of a large man lying lifelessly smack dab in front of my Bart doorway

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22 Apr 2023

Why I want to be a Girl Scout…again

It’s that time of year. ..look for me, the much older girl scout…in the back alley. I’m holdin’. Thin Mints. 255 grams. Cash only.
And yes. I’m wearing my Girl Scout uniform from the Seventies. Bay Area Kensington Troop 169 in the house.

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13 Apr 2023

The Sour Side of Pickleball: Court Battles in the Bay

Pickleball gangs developed. I’d often see those Pickleballers slowly exiting their Hybrid Electric Vehicles in their Normcore attire (after they had circled endlessly to find parking where there was no street sweeping). Wispy grey hair peeking out from under their giant brimmed UPF hats from REI, opaque white glistening sunblock slathered on their sunglassed faces, Hoka supportive Pickleball sneakers, pricey carbon fiber weave paddles, tee shirts that read “Day Dinker” and “Pickleball. It’s kind of a big Dill” and enormous, insulated, stainless steel Hydro Flask vessels filled with electrolytes. “Pickleball” is what they play.

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