Jake Warren

28 Dec 2022

What I Learned at an Active Shooter Workshop

“No guarantees,” said Deputy Chief Ken Craig throughout the evening. “You won’t know how you’re going to respond until it happens.” The ominous disclaimer hushed the room as one by one, we placed ourselves at the center of a worst-case scenario. What would you do if, on a night out

Jake Warren 0
20 Dec 2022

Why Did(n’t) MyShake Warn Me?

The noise woke my partner first. I heard it distantly, still ascending from the depths of a REM cycle. Its robotic voice, preceded by a red-alert siren, warned of impending shaking. Knowing that it’s safest to stay in bed if an earthquake strikes at night, we looked at each other

Jake Warren 0
27 Jan 2024

The San Francisco Beer Passport is Here!

Step into a world of adventure with the San Francisco Beer Passport. There’s no better way to explore San Francisco than to literally drink it in. This passport is amazing! Each one contains 27 coupons to buy one beer, get a second beer FREE at 27 of the finest locally

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
20 Dec 2022

MUNI To Make Long Overdue Improvements

Over the next eighteen months, San Francisco plans to eliminate parking spots blocking almost 1,200 MUNI stops. SFMTA Board of Directors determined each stop should have twenty feet of clearance or more for boarding. At certain stops across the city, riders must sometimes squeeze between parked cars to board a

Jake Warren 0
14 Dec 2022

Elon Musk Faces Even More Trouble at Twitter HQ

In every direction he looks, Tesla CEO Elon Musk faces a bevy of unenviable troubles. His albatross, Twitter, is reportedly losing $4 million per day. Meanwhile, building inspectors found impromptu living quarters on the eighth floor of their San Francisco headquarters. Former employees are taking legal action against him. Rumors

Jake Warren 0
13 Dec 2022

Can The Drought Teach Us About San Francisco’s Housing Crisis?

I’m sure you’ve seen the weather lately. It’s been raining on and off since mid-November. Soaking rains washed over the Bay Area these past couple weekends, reminiscent of wet seasons past. Forecasters say another storm system should move in this Friday. It is hoped this seemingly plentiful rainfall will reduce

Jake Warren 0
07 Dec 2022

Twitter CEO Elon Musk Reportedly Forcing Workers to Sleep On-Site

Twitter is allegedly forcing its few remaining employees to sleep in makeshift bedrooms at its Market Street headquarters. A whistleblower alerted San Francisco’s 311 service, backed up by a Forbes report that described conference rooms rudely converted to “modest bedrooms featuring unmade mattresses, drab curtains and giant conference-room telepresence monitors.” Anonymous employees

Jake Warren 0
Sunbeams shine down a San Francisco alleway.
07 Dec 2022

Nine Reasons to Never Give Up on San Francisco

San Francisco is objectively beautiful. In San Francisco, you can still get lost in the woods. Mount Sutro cloaks you in eucalyptus groves until you reach the summit crowned with its eponymous Tower. Glen Canyon slices the hills south of Twin Peaks, the creek that cut it still running its

Jake Warren 0
30 Nov 2022

Mauna Loa Ends Thirty-Eight-Year Silence

After months of seismic unrest, Hawai’i’s largest volcano Mauna Loa began erupting.  At 11:30 PM Sunday evening, the floor of Moku‘āweoweo, Mauna Loa’s enormous caldera, split open. Lava soon flooded the crater and spilled out on the mountain’s broad, rocky slopes. Scientists familiar with the truly massive volcano (33,500+ feet

Jake Warren 0