Jake Warren

Mauna Loa Ends Thirty-Eight-Year Silence
After months of seismic unrest, Hawai’i’s largest volcano Mauna Loa began erupting. At 11:30 PM Sunday evening, the floor of Moku‘āweoweo, Mauna Loa’s enormous caldera, split open. Lava soon flooded the crater and spilled out on the mountain’s broad, rocky slopes. Scientists familiar with the truly massive volcano (33,500+ feet

Locking Up the Mentally Ill, Involuntarily, is Making A Comeback
New York City Mayor Eric Adams just announced his initiative to renew involuntary commitment. A “common misunderstanding persists that we cannot provide involuntary assistance unless the person is violent,” said Adams, with the New York Times reporting. “Going forward, we will make every effort to assist those who are suffering

The San Francisco Beer Passport is Here!
Step into a world of adventure with the San Francisco Beer Passport. There’s no better way to explore San Francisco than to literally drink it in. This passport is amazing! Each one contains 37 coupons to buy one beer, get a second beer FREE at 37 of the finest locally owned bars,

Fentanyl Crisis Claims Over 500 Lives
“As society degrades, a broader segment of it will choose drugs, moving images, dormancy. Yet this subset will cling, surprisingly, to a single public duty: that of electing a ruling class.” —Author Miles Klee, June 2012 A grim new statistic has emerged in the wake of 2022’s messy midterm elections.

Satire: Waymo Officially Given License to Kill
Shortly before two o’clock last Friday, Waymo announced its autonomous vehicles now have license to kill. “We’re very excited for this innovative new technology to hit the streets,” said California Public Utilities Commission representative Sarah Desk, “and some people.” Cal-PUC granted Waymo a Pilotless Permit pearlier this month, marking any

Earthquake Rattles Half Moon Bay
A M2.9 earthquake struck just south of Half Moon Bay shortly before 9:30 last night. Residents of San Mateo and Redwood City also reported feeling the jolt. It happened at a depth of 10.4 kilometers, or 6.4 miles, beneath the rugged coastline within the San Gregorio Fault Zone. The San

Would You Share Your Intrusive Thoughts?
A recent trend with a storied past has emerged with a new phrase in its mouth. Intrusive thoughts are fetching social media buzz. Facebook groups, Instagram stories, BuzzFeed and YouTube videos, all getting it wrong. You don’t lose sleep, stop eating, and consider suicide because of some stupid impulse or

10 San Francisco Restaurants to Visit Before You Die
Say you have one day left to live (or worse, you have to move back to Missouri). Which San Francisco restaurant would you visit on your way out? I fished recommendations from multiple Reddit threads and Twitter arguments so you didn’t have to. Feelings about these eateries may shift faster

The Second Dot-com Bubble Is Bursting
“Irrational exuberance” Former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan first uttered the phrase in 1996, describing what he considered an alarming economic trend. The rise of home internet usage was spurring several investors to stake digital claims like an online Oklahoma land run. Tech companies sprang up overnight, each hoping to