Long Distance Dating
I am and always have been really against long distance relationships. They’re either unbearably torturous or completely pointless, or maybe both. Sometimes, though, you find yourselves the victims of circumstance, and you just kind of have to deal with it. But how to deal? Here are my nuggets of wisdom:
1) Think long and hard if this shit makes any sense whatsoever
If you don’t have any real plans to ever be together in the same city…like EVER, it kind of begs the question: what’s the point? I mean, I guess if this type of relationship is fulfilling on both ends, then go for it. But if either of you aren’t totally happy, then it’s ridiculous to try and fool yourselves, no matter how much you legitimately care for the person.
2) There needs to be incredibly clear rules with regards to seeing other people
Because god help you if you break the rules. God. Help. You. As far as being able to see other people vs not being able to see other people and all the complexities therein, respectively, that’s for you guys to decide. All I’m saying is that it might be unreasonable, depending on the amount of time and the total length of relationship, to expect people to remain celibate. That’s all I’m going to say.
3) Don’t make crazy and rash decisions with regards to the level of your relationship
If you probably wouldn’t get married (or move in together, or whatever) right now, it’s most likely not a great idea to rush into it because you feel pressured that you or your significant other is leaving, or you feel like you can’t go on living anymore if you continue to be apart from them. If something doesn’t work out timing-wise, that’s just the way it goes sometimes. Don’t try to force shit because you think you’ll never meet anyone like them again. You most likely will. There are tons of people in the world. And even if you don’t meet anyone you remotely like for the rest of your life, who fucking cares? At least you didn’t ruin your life for someone else.
4) Don’t become a weird hermit
Just because you’re sad you can’t be with your significant other, it doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with OTHER people you care about. If you lock yourself up in your room every weekend, you’ll just alienate yourself from everyone who actually IS there and create a weird co-dependent relationship with your absent partner. Plus, not everyone can pull off that long beard and cloak look.
5) Maybe that kiss between you and that guy that you can’t get out of your head really does mean something
Listen, none of us are perfect. As long as one makes a valiant effort to respect other people, and listen to your feelings, that’s all anyone can ever ask of one. Maybe that kiss between you and Brody or whoever means that you really DO like Brody, or maybe it just means you’re not as into Marco in Vancouver as much as you thought you were. I just thought I’d use name examples from the imaginary teen drama I made up in my head.
6) If at all possible, do not assign a sentimental indie rock song to your relationship
Because you will never, ever be able to listen to that song again without bursting out in tears and/or cringing. Ever. Sense memory is a sadistic and cliched sonofabitch.
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