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Movie Madness All Week Long

The Bay's best newsletter for underground events & news

I can never get over how expensive it is to see a movie. This week there are a bunch of special movie events that are either cheaper or more special than your average flick. Mostly because they are all beloved films that happen to scare the bejeezus out of me. Here they are:

Scary muppets!!!

Save a few bucks at the Red Vic’s $7 movie night tonight. They are screening Jim Henson’s cult classic the Dark Crystal. Now don’t get me wrong. Muppets and David Bowie sound like a great combination in theory, but if this movie is anything like Labyrinth, which scares the shit out of me, then count me out. But count most people in. I have found out, after being repeatedly yelled at, that I am in the minority and that everyone else loves that movie. Nightmares.

Tuesday, December 28, 7:15 & 9pm
The Dark Crystal Screening
The Red Vic Movie House
1727 Haight St. btwn Cole & Shrader [Haight]
$7

SNOWBOARD FLICKS????

If you feel like you wanna bro down super hard, SFO Snowboards is hosting a night of snowboard flicks with FREE snacks and beer. Not sure if that’s a good enough offer to get you all the way out to 47th Avenue, but there’s also the ocean. That’s always nice.

Wednesday, December 29, 9pm
SFO Snowboarding presents Snowboard Flicks
The Riptide
3639 Taraval St. @ 47th Ave. [Outer Sunset]
FREE

Those voices! Worst nightmare.

The Wizard of Oz used to be my favorite movie when I was little. I even tried out to play Toto in a play when I was nine. Apparently I wasn’t a good enough actor to crawl around on my knees and bark. They picked some idiot boy with floppy hair who looked like a dog. Unfair. Now the movie gives me bad dreams. Mostly the Lollipop Guild. So nightmarish. You can go watch it for $5 on Thursday, December 30, at the Paramount Theatre in Oakland. You already know how I feel about the Paramount Theatre, which is possibly the coolest, most beautiful, most magical place in the Bay Area to see a show. Plus the whole haunted house thing. Even cuter, before they show movies you get to hear live organ music and then they screen a newsreel and cartoon and play a prize giveaway game! AND you can get drunk!  SO many reasons to go.

Thursday, December 30, 8pm [Box Office @ 6, Doors @ 7]
The Wizard of Oz Screening
Paramount Theatre
2025 Broadway (btwn 20th & 21st St) [Downtown Oakland]
$5

Happy New Year?

And, if you don’t feel like braving the crowds and getting sloppy on New Year’s Eve, or you’re in AA, or this actually sounds super fun to you, you can go to Grace Cathedral and watch a screening of Phantom of the Opera. A church and a silent film. Super wholesome. But also a little scary. But, as has now been proven by the list of children’s movies that scare me, I’m kind of a cinema wuss. At $20 ($10 for students/seniors), it’s not objectively cheap, but it is a lot cheaper than the drinks you might otherwise buy, the parking tickets you might otherwise get, and the hookers you might otherwise proposition, if you go out with your roommates instead.

Friday, December 31, 7 & 10pm
Phantom of the Opera Screening
Grace Cathedral
1100 California St. @ Jones St. [Nob Hill]
$20 ($10 student/senior)

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Chloe - Pennywise Reporter

Chloe - Pennywise Reporter

Chloe's youth was split between California and Kauai, frolicking on a macadamia nut farm in the tropics and landing finally in the Bay Area. Raised by super-Jew hippies, and the youngest of three sisters, Chloe learned early the virtues of thrift, economy, and green living. To the chagrin of her parents (who hoped, of course, for a Jewish doctor or lawyer), Chloe has put her degree from UC Berkeley to great use by becoming a folk singer. As "Chloe Makes Music" she plays shows throughout SF and beyond, donning vintage frocks, selling handmade merch, and pinching pennies as she sings for her supper. Calling Berkeley home for the last six years, you can think of Chloe as the website's East Bay Correspondent, opening your eyes to the hippie-filled, tree-hugging, organic-loving, vegan-eating, but way-overlooked and awesome assets of Berkeley, Oakland, and beyond.