These Safeway Monopoly cards are the Glengarry leads. To you, they’re gold. But does anyone ever win so much as a 99-cent box of macaroni & cheese playing Safeway Monopoly? I’ve seen a lot of card-collecting and not much winning in the years that this highly complicated grocery store game of chance has been annually rebooted. So we put the Broke-Ass I-Team on the case to determine whether the Safeway Monopoly game ever produces any winning tickets, and what the odds are of even winning anything (Side note: if you haven’t played Monopoly Deal yet, you’re totally missing out).

The Safeway Monopoly promotion goes from February 7th to May 8th and you can still claim winnings until May 18th, 2018. Furthermore, it is not “Safeway Monopoly” — it’s technically called Shop, Play, Win and the cards were also being handed out all across the country at Albertsons, Vons, Jewel-Osco and a shit-ton of regional grocery chains you’ve never heard of.

There are 2,200 grocery stores nationwide handing out Monopoly game pieces. And this is why your chances of winning anything at this Monopoly game are so low.

ODDS OF WINNING ANYTHING AT ALBERTSON’S/SAFEWAY MONOPOLY

Your odds of winning the million dollar prize in this game are 1 in 625 million for each ticket. (Only one person has ever won the $1 million since Albertson’s started the promotion in 2009, but one of our commenters won the $1,500 TV in 2017 as you can see in the Comments below!) 

The odds of winning all the other prizes in the Safeway Monopoly game are listed online and we’ve also compiled them below. Anecdotal reports on social media indicate that most people who’ve won anything were awarded prizes of $3 or less in value, or a $5 discount that required a $50 or more purchase. 

The odds listed below are for individual tickets. You may accumulate many tickets between now and May 2018. Each additional ticket you obtain will improve your odds.

PRIZES AND ODDS

Collect & Win Game:
$1,000,000 Cash ( 30-year Annuity) – 625,000,000 to 1
$1,000,000 Vacation Home (30-year Annuity) – 312,500,000  to 1
$100,000 Cash or Luxury Car – 83,333,333  to 1
$40,000 Vehicle of Choice – 50,000,000  to 1
$25,000 Kitchen Makeover – 35,714,286 to 1
$20,000 College Tuition – 25,000,000  to 1
$10,000 Cash – 25,000,000  to 1
$7,500 Family Vacation – 16,666,667  to 1
$5,000 Cash – 25,000,000  to 1
$5,000 Groceries – 25,000,000  to 1
$2,600 Movies For A Year – 25,000,000  to 1
$1,500 Gas Grill & Groceries – 25,000,000 to 1
$1,000 Cash – 12,500,000  to 1
$1,000 Grocery Gift Card – 12,500,000  to 1
$1,000 Weekend Getaway – 12,500,000 to 1
$1,000 Laptop Computer – 12,500,000  to 1
$500 Grocery Gift Card – 3,571,429  to 1
$300 Spa Day – 2,083,333  to 1
$200 Family Picnic – 1,666,667  to 1
$200 Cash – 1,666,667  to 1
$100 Grocery Gift Card – 500,000  to 1
$100 Cash – 500,000  to 1
$50 Grocery Gift Card – 250,000  to 1
$25 Grocery Gift Card – 125,000 to 1
$25 Gift Card Mall – 125,000 to 1
$25 Cash -125,000 to 1
$20 Cash – 100,000 to 1
$15 Grocery Gift Card – 50,000  to 1
$10 Grocery Gift Card – 31,250  to 1
$10 Cash 40,000 – 2,404  to 1
$5 Grocery Gift Card – 1,389 to 1
$5 Cash -1,389  to 1

Instant Win Game:
$10,000 Cash – 416,666,667 to 1
$5,000 Grocery Gift Card – 250,000,000 to 1
$5,000 Cash – 250,000,000 to 1
$1,000 Grocery Gift Card – 25,000,000  to 1
$100 Grocery Gift Card – 833,333 to 1
$50 Grocery Gift Card – 500,000  to 1
$25 Grocery Gift Card – 250,000  to 1
$25 Mastercard Gift Card – 250,000  to 1
$25 Visa Gift Card – 125,000 to 1
$25 Microsoft Xbox Gift Card – 1,250,000  to 1
$25 AMC Theaters Gift Card – 1,250,000  to 1
$25 JCPenney Gift Card – 500,000 to 1
$25 Red Robin Gift Card – 1,250,000  to 1
$25 Spafinder Gift Card – 1,250,000 to 1
$25 Fandango Gift Card – 833,333  to 1
$20 Domino’s Gift Card – 500,000 to 1
$25 Rouxbe Cooking School – 139 to 1
$10 Grocery Gift Card – 50,000  to 1
$9.99 Jurassic World: The Game App – 1,250 to 1
$5 Grocery Gift Card – 6,250  to 1
$4.99 Jurassic World: The Game App – 521 to 1
$3 Redbox Free Game Rental – 1,316  to 1
$1.99 Jurassic World: The Game App – 3368  to 1
Two Free Game Tickets – 42  to 1