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The Best Cheap Wines For Under $5

smi;ley

Wine is justifiable on any night when the bottle costs less than $5, and the modern cheap wine renaissance offers many outstanding varietals. “Varietals” is the word you use when you’re trying to make it sound like you care more about artisan wine snobbery than you care about getting drunk. You my friend, care more about getting drunk, on the cheap, and this list of best wines for under $5 is dedicated to you.

NOTE: Retailers’ prices can fluctuate. Wines that might be less than $5 one day may be more than $5 the next. But these wines are generally sold at under $5. And if you know of some good ones we left out, then open a Bourdeaux Varietal of whoop-ass on us in the comments below!

beringer

Image: rob_rob2001 via Flickr

BERINGER

My personal most favorite for Outstanding Achievement In A Wine Under $5 goes to Beringer, whose magnificent low-end $5 wine bottles can fool the experts like a cup of Folger’s Crystals.

twobuckchuck

Image: pr1001 via Flickr

TRADER JOE’S “TWO BUCK CHUCK”

The so-called “Two Buck Chuck” in reality costs closer to 3 bucks these days in the City and County of San Francisco, with price increases and local tax initiatives responsible for the increase. Still, it’s a fine, award-winning wine for under $5 so it merits inclusion on this list.

mondavi

Image: Rich Bowen via Flickr

MONDAVI

It’s not fair to call Mondavi a cheap wine. Mondavi sells wine bottles from under $5 to more than a thousand bucks a bottle. But we do need to acknowledge their deliciously drinkable cheap wine, and their facilitation of low-cost nightly drinking all across America.

gallo

Image: Vox Efx via Flickr

GALLO

Ernest and Julio Gallo are the largest exporter wine in all of California, and in addition to their own name-brand cheap hooch they also produce lovely penny-ante spirits like Carlo Rossi, Boone’s Farm, Andre and Barefoot Wine.  

sutterhom

Image: Wordchazer via Flickr

SUTTER HOME

Sutter Home popularized the tiny little 4-pack bottles of airplane-ride size wines, but a full adult-size bottle (serving size for one episode of Game of Thrones) is also widely available for $5 or less.

 

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Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura is a two-bit marketing writer who excels at the homoerotic double-entendre. He is training to run a full marathon completely drunk and high, and his work has appeared in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal on days when their editors made particularly curious decisions.