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How to do Easter Like a Proper Heathen in San Francisco

Dolores Park on Easter 2016. Photo Alex Mak

It’s Easter Sunday in San Francisco, which means there are gloriously unreligious and outrageously interesting events to attend.  There’s the legendary Hunky Jesus Contest in Golden Gate Park with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.  There’s the incredibly juvenile and dangerously fun Big Wheel Races down Potrero Hill, and as luck would have it, the St. Stupid’s Day Parade through North Beach because Easter Sunday is also April Fool’s Day this year. So get out there and enjoy these free, BYOB, outdoor, and genuinely unique celebrations…you dirty, dirty, heathens.

First up….

Easter with the Sisters! 39th Anniversary, Hunky Jesus and MORE!

via the Sisters fb event page:

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, your fabulous Order of Queer Nuns, will host our annual 39th Anniversary celebration on Easter Sunday, April 1st, 2018 at Golden Gate Park’s Hellman Hollow area.

This year’s theme is “Sacred Jesters and Wise Fools”, since Easter 2018 falls on April’s Fools Day! Join the Sisters for a family-friendly Children’s Easter starting at 10:00 a.m., which includes an egg hunt, games and face painting for the little ones.

Starting at 12:00 noon, the PG-13 fun begins with the Easter Bonnet Contest, followed by some amazing performances, live music acts, drag shows, Sisters’ vows and grants, and everyone’s favorite Easter traditions in San Francisco: the FOXY MARY and the HUNKY JESUS contests!

Hunky Jesus winner of 2015. Photo: SFhog.com

Appearances and Performances by Kat Robichaud (The Voice), Honey Mahogany, Carletta Sue Kay, Rachel Lark, Gooferman, Juanita More!, The SF Imperial, Krewe de Kinque and Ducal Courts
Breanna Sinclaire, Tribal Baroque, DJ MC 2 & Laundra Tyme The Monster Show, Electric Spectrum Circus, and many more!

The 2018 celebration will take place at the Hellman Hollow in Golden Gate Park, a very spacious area where – hopefully – the Sun will shine all day! Come join us for an amazing afternoon and celebrate Easter in the best San Francisco way! Bring your blanket, picnic supplies, and join us for a wonderful afternoon of irreverence and fun. And don’t forget to wear flowers in your hair!

Photo sfhog.com

10am – Children’s Easter: egg hunting and fun activities for the little ones!
12pm noon – Easter with the Sisters begins!
12:30pm – Easter Bonnet Contest
3:00pm – Foxy Mary Contest followed by Hunky Jesus Contest

 

WHEN: Easter Sunday, April 1st (that’s right!) 2018 – from 10am to 4pm

WHERE: Hellman Hollow (former Speedway Meadow) area inside the Golden Gate Park
Google Maps link: https://goo.gl/maps/Y8QTDvPZgb12

PRICE: FREE!

FB Event


The Annual St. Stupid’s Day Parade is a celebration of stupidity

St. Stupid’s Day Parade. Photo Alex Mak

If you haven’t experienced a St. Stupid’s Day Parade you must be a total moron.  I mean, what kind of idiot doesn’t want to completely abandon all sense and logic, put on an outrageously senseless outfit, and march around their peers with an out of tune marching band and a heretical bishop?  I mean, you’d have to be a complete nimrod to miss out on that…right? Every 7 years or so the planets align and April Fools Day lands on a Sunday.  Which of course means only one thing…The St. Stupid’s Day Parade is going to march through North Beach! (and not the Financial District as it does when April 1st is a weekday).

St. Stupid’s Day Parade. Photo Alex Mak

The St. Stupid’s Day tradition is coming up on its 40th year in San Francisco, it truly is a Bay Area phenomenon  that will dazzle you with its devout crowd of idiotic method actors and ill-advised costumes and signs.  If you’d like to get weird with some of the original SF Cacophony Society and do something truly and utterly pointless with your day that will both delight and surprise you, get yourself to the ‘Ponty’ building on Sunday.

SUNDAY APRIL FIRST*
*NOON*
*STARTING AT THE “PONTY BLDG”, the TRANSAMERICA PYRAMID in SF and, 600 Montgomery at Washington
*heading up Columbus Ave to JOE DiMAGGIO PLAYGROUND.*

More Info Here


Bring Your Own Big Wheel 2018

Bring Your Own Big Wheel. Photo Alex Mak

It’s exactly what you think it is.  You bring a big wheel and you race other adults down a perilously steep and windy road on the back of Potrero Hill.  It’s hilarious, it’s creative, it’s exciting, it’s San Francisco’s version of NASCAR with a lot more crashes.  No one much cares who makes it down the hill first, people want to see the amazing costumes, teams, and varieties of Big Wheels, from the standard ‘store bought’ to the riding of a recycle bin.  It gets crowded, it gets strange, and if you haven’t been yet…well, you should.

Where and when is the event this year? The same place and time it always is: Vermont Street at 20th Easter Sunday.

KIDS HOUR is from 3pm-4pm! Adult Kids roll 4pm-6pm. REGISTER IN ADVANCE .

Read the FAQ and the rider Code Of Conduct

Remember! Kids 12 and under ride a whole hour: 3pm-4pm (with legal guardian permission and supervision).We’ll need all of your cooperation to make this happen. That means clearing the street and being patient while the smaller humans have their time.

PLEASE DONATE TO EVENT COSTS! – The event costs around 9K to produce and we are against charging mandatory entrance fees. We have super cool patches this year for donations over $10! Of course you get a free sticker as always.

Event Info Here


Dolores Park (the Sunday default)

Easter at Dolores Park. Photo Alex Mak

If you’re too lazy to go to GG Park, Potrero Hill or North Beach, you can always just mosey on over to Dolores Park  If it’s a nice day, there will be large crowds of delightful heathens day drinking and carrying on.  Dolores has been SF’s Sunday Fun Day Default ever since it stopped being a cemetery and turned into a park nearly 110 years ago.  So this Easter, wish Jesus a happy resurrection the San Francisco way, by laughing in the sun with your weird friends.

Happy Easter San Francisco!

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Alex Mak - Managing Editor

Alex Mak - Managing Editor

I'm the managin' editor here at Broke-Ass Stuart. When we're not writing, editing, or publishing articles, Stuart and I are promoting the good things in SF & NYC.

If you're a writer, artist, or performer who would like to get your work seen by our audience, or if you're a cool business and would like us to introduce you to our 120k social followers in a creative and engaging way, contact me at alex@brokeassstuart.com.