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Broke-Ass Porn: The $500 Bill

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What is the thing that ties all us broke-asses together?  The shit we ain’t got.  Now I’m a huge advocate of loving the life you live regardless of how much money or material wealth you may have, but that doesn’t mean a motherfucker can’t fantasize!  Because of that, I bring you Broke-Ass Porn.  If you’ve got something you’d like to submit, send it to info@brokeassstuart.com. And without further ado, I bring you the $500 Bill:

Goddamn!  Just look at this bad bitch!  The dirty, filthy things I could do with you William McKinley…hell I would video tape it and put it on the internet!  You’re like an entire economic stimulus check all at once.  And oooooweee!!!  Look at that backside.  I wanna kiss the people who printed your sweet ass for making you so fine and crisp.  Mr. McKinley, I think I love you.

That concludes this session of Broke-Ass Porn.  I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website BrokeAssStuart.com is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, Geek.com and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle, "an SF cult hero":SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.