NY-Excerpts

08 Apr 2010

A Broke-Ass Guide to Central Park

This originally appeared in Broke-Ass Stuart’s Guide to Living Cheaply in New York. Since the weather is finally getting to be so nice, I figured I’d share some great Broke-Ass things to do in that giant square of foliage in the center of Manhattan. Designed by Fredrick Law Olmstead and

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01 Apr 2010

Fuck the Mars Bar!

This piece originally appeared in Broke-Ass Stuart’s Guide to Living Cheaply in New York City Have you ever come across someone who is such a total fucking asshole, that they’re proud of being an asshole? In fact, they’re so proud of being one and doing such overtly asshole-ish things, that they

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25 Mar 2010

Jackie’s 5th Amendment

Five people were in the bar when Paul and I walked in around midnight. One of them was a bartender in her late 50s/early 60s who was missing a few teeth, while the other four were shitfaced, chubby, middle aged and dancing to disco music emanating from the jukebox. Neither

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19 Mar 2010

The Cottage

  As Americans, we aren’t used to getting shit for free, so when we do, we often act completely inappropriately. It’s not our fault really, the Capitalist system we grew up in has reared us towards an “I’m gonna get mine motherfucker!” mentality, and living in New York only exasperates

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03 Mar 2010

Dave’s Tavern

This originally appeared in Broke-Ass Stuart’s Guide to Living Cheaply in New York The single most impressive thing about Dave’s Tavern is that every night one of the regulars gets 86’d.  It must have been me and Paul’s lucky night because we saw two of them get the boot. The

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14 Jan 2010

Rudy’s Bar & Grill

My good friend Anton plays violin for bands like Bright Eyes, Mates of State, and Judgment Day, so when he played Town Hall with Bright Eyes he got us some tickets. After the show, we all met up at Rudy’s for a beer and then headed down to the after

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31 Dec 2009

McSorley’s Old Ale House

This originally appeared in Broke-Ass Stuart’s Guide to Living Cheaply in New York City. Founded in 1854, Mcsorley’s is New York’s oldest bar and because of this its slogan is, “We’ve been here since before you were born” Are you kidding me McSorley’s? You’ve been here since when my ancestors

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22 Oct 2009

The Abracadabra Superstore

When you walk into a place that’s playing ABBA, and you overhear one clerk asking another, “Can we rent out these clown shoes?” you know that there’s a high probability that you’re in the best store ever.  Between the florescent purple, pink and green carpet (think Hammer pants from elementary

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